WARNING: You'll need a good 15 minutes for this one... =/ Sorry.

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

WalkawayJane
New Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 5/11/2011 1:59 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello.

I'm quite new to this, so I'm not even sure if this is where I should post this, but I figure that SOMEONE will read this and then perhaps I'll get some feedback.

First off, I suppose I'll go off on how I'm feeling. I'm not quite sure to be honest.. I'm a tad confused and also quite upset. There are days where I'll cry randomly and not even know where the heck it came from. I'm not great with words so I apologize if you find me repeating things.. I do this to keep track of where I am in the story.

Now, I'll start near the beginning. I won't go to the full beginning, because that could take hours.. When I was 15 years old, my mother kicked me out of her house because I was a teenager going through a hard time and she didn't know how to deal with me. What had happened, was that I witness my best friend's suicide. I went through complete withdrawal. I refused to come out of my room and didn't want to even eat. My mother got fed up with trying to force me out of my room and told me to "pack my crap and get out." So, that's exactly what I did. I packed a duffel bag of my things and wandered the town for awhile. Spent a couple of nights alone at the park, sleeping under the slide. One day, I received a phone call from a friend asking what I'd been up to and I broke down and told him everything. He came to my rescue and allowed me to stay at his place.

I stayed there for awhile, and with much time of convincing, I went back to school. I caught up in my classes and graduated on time. Which was a small victory for me. I still live with my friend. I've couch surfed many places throughout the last few years (I'm 19, almost 20 now.) but ended up right back at their house. So for the last 2 years I've lived in a house with 7 men. I am the only female and this gets quite annoying. I love them all to pieces, honest I do, but they don't clean, cook, nothing. I am the woman, therefore I'm expected to do everything. And they verbally make that clear. So that's all I've ever known. I clean, cook and do everything for these men. Including my boyfriend. Well, I don't know what it is, I mean I've never really had a problem with it before, but lately I have been getting really moody and fed up with it. I don't mean to, but my brain is just getting exhausted.

I know it's silly, but all I want to do is be able to go out, have fun with all the other people my age. Y'know, going out to the bar, dancing, karaoke.. Things like that. Not necessarily drinking, because what's the point of getting something in your system that impairs your thinking? Anyways, but I'm sure you get my point. I just feel as though I'm stuck as a 'housewife' per se. I'm not sure what to do. And all my boyfriend does all day is play XBOX360. It's a pain in my ass. I have tried convincing him to get off his game and maybe go for a walk with me, just to get out of the house.. But the response I always get is: "One sec, babe. Just wanna get these achievements." It pisses me off, to say the least. But what am I supposed to do? I just suffer through it because I do love him. I can't sleep, because so many things run through my brain and I can't shut them off. It's bloody annoying.

So I suppose this is where YOU come in.. What should I do? How can I make this better? I have no idea where to go from here. No idea where my next step in life is...

Help?

Sincerely,
WalkawayJane.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42613
   Posted 5/11/2011 2:20 PM (GMT -6)   
Are you working now? If you had a job to go to it would get you out of the house, What about college? You need to do something for you. You need to think of your future.

With the guys, I would make up a schedule and give them all a chore. Tell them you aren't going to be the maid. But if they are in any way paying your way and you aren't working, it is to be expected. Maybe you have to draw the line somewhere, it depends how much you are contributing to the household. You need to be fair there. Maybe we need to know a little more about what you are doing and not doing to put in your part. Does your boyfriend work and pay the rent? Or a part of it anyway? There are times when we need to help out and there are times when we need to take care of ourselves.

It sounds like your bf is addicted to xbox. In reality a grown man can't be sitting around playing video games, that is why I asked if he was working. I think that the best thing is to work on you. Either be going to school or working. Then you can eventually get a place of your own. That is what you and your boyfriend need right now. Then you can work on your relationship. If you are getting depressed, I highly recommend counseling. It gets us back on track.

Keep posting and let us know how you are doing Jane.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

WalkawayJane
New Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 5/11/2011 2:28 PM (GMT -6)   
I -was- working.. Except, my boyfriend started accusing me of sleeping with my boss and made me quit. =/ Also, no. He is not working. I am on income assistance and paying all the bills.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42613
   Posted 5/11/2011 3:38 PM (GMT -6)   
If you are paying your share of the bills and everybody elses, you shouldn't have to be doing all the cooking and cleaning. Why do you get assistance, if you don't mind me asking? Because you can't find work, or do you have disability?

If I were you, I would start just cooking for you and your boyfriend, though if he isn't working, he needs to be contributing also. And clean up after yourselves, let the other guys fend for themselves. Unless you generally enjoy cooking for all. But to me you are being taken advantage of by not only the guys, but your boyfriend too. But that is just my opinion.

I would like to see you do more for yourself, such as get a job, your own place. Or go to college. But sometimes we have to take it one day at a time. Do you have mental health insurance with your assistance? If so, maybe some counseling would help you lay out a path for the future for yourself. I think you could do something with your life and would like to see you persue that. Think about it, okay?

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Wednesday, September 26, 2018 5:28 AM (GMT -6)
There are a total of 3,006,718 posts in 329,385 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 161847 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Mindstrange.
119 Guest(s), 1 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
JOKERWILD477