I am sorry that you are going through so much pain. Are you going to a counselor that you can talk to about this? I sure do hope so, nobody should have to deal with depression alone.
Here are a couple of resources for you:
The second one is a forum that you can discuss things on that you can't discuss here. Though I actually hope that you do stay here, and it might not be suitable for your needs right now, but I wanted to post it for you anyway.
I sure do hope that you feel better soon. Know that you are among others who do understand what you are going through.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies