Depression> not wanting to live

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Bassin
New Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 5/12/2011 5:39 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello everyone,
I'm currently a high school grade 12 student with average high 60% grades; my grades can be higher if it weren't for my low self-esteem/ lack of wanting to continue my whole life through studies and work.
My family's financial situation isn't the best; we bought a new house ($595 000) and we're barely paying the bills on time. Everyone in my family works except for me; my father a manager position in a hotel, mom a hostess, brother a front desk guest care agent. My father always pushes me to make a choice between continuing my education on to University or finishing my school year and starting to work full time so that I have a good future.
I've thought long and hard about the future; I want to be a middle class person, have a good job with an excellent salary, but with this salary, I want to use it on others; become an entrepreneur and hire homeless people and give them shelter and steady job so that they don’t need to live in the streets (I believe that God has a purpose for us, and this is mine). But for all this to become a reality, I must get into University. But I cannot perform to my best ability because of depression.
My main problem is losing my girlfriend that I loved very much. We knew each other since grade 8, where she first confessed her infatuation to me – but my immature self-neglected it. After a year has passed, after we went to different high schools, I fell in love with her. Ironically I had to face the same fate as she felt a year ago, where she broke-up with me – and did not say why.
I’m unable to forget her/change my feelings towards her, therefor I just simply not talk to her (keep my distance from her).
I’ve seen a school counselor about a year ago but the meeting only made my problem seem more pathetic; here I am a 18 year old man, captain of a football team, but beaten to cripple by myself! I used to hold my head up high whereas now I can lick the ground without needing to get lower.
I understand that I can get a girlfriend if I wanted to, but I don’t want to. I can walk by the most appealing women and not become infatuated of her, and think, cherish the priceless moment’s I’ve spent with my x-girlfriend
My issue that I’m facing right now is that my grades are still in the 60s. And I cannot for fill my goal without reaching University, but that not all of the pressure, my parents wants me to get into University or get out of the house and complete my education or get a fulltime job and pay for rent.
I’m not sure why I can’t rap my head around becoming more focused, maybe its just that I’ve gotten used to being so depressed that I just don’t care anymore.
Thankyou for taking your time to read this, I hope you can give me a solution to how I can move on with my life.

BerryBlonde81
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 157
   Posted 5/12/2011 8:26 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello! Do you have anyone that you can talk to about your feelings that you are close to? If no have you thought about seeing a professional who will not be biased and can assist you with sorting things out...Also what about medications to help with depression, there are may on the market that can pull you out of a slump, I had a really hard time when I was about 15 1/2 in high school and got soo depressed my parents got me help and I was on anti-depressant that got me back on my feet... Being somewhat in your shoes (I actually was engaged to a guy who was going to be successful and when he started college (he was one year younger than me) he fell in to the crowd that was suppremesist (sp) -- he got involved with KKK -- I told him that was not acceptable and that he would have to choose between me and the KKK -- guess what to my disbelief he chose them. SO -- thankfully that ended before we got married, and I have been blessed with an amazing husband that I met only a couple months after my breakup and we have been together 10 years and have 3 awesome kids and are the best of friends, God totally knew what he was doing when me and my ex broke up even though I was totally heartbroken and did crazy behaviour (bars, etc) to stop the pain....I think I am rambling here, anyway, just remember there are many others in the sea, and this one was not the one for you, falling in love does hurt sometimes....but it may help to talk to someone you trust or online like this forum, its really a great one...

Good luck to you!
Bipolar II - Second Opinion Diagnosed 4/11/2011
Fibromyalgia - Diagnosed 12/2009

Zoloft 1996-2002?
Paxil 20mg 2002?-2011
Paxil 30mg 1/28/11-4/4/11 - increase not helpful; more anxiety; backed down to 20mg nightly
Switching Meds:
4/11/11 Paxil 20mg; Cymbalta 30mg nightly
4/18/11 Paxil 10mg; Cymbalta 60mg nightly
4/24/11 No Paxil; Cymbalta 60mg nightly
Klonopin .5 as needed

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42436
   Posted 5/12/2011 8:26 PM (GMT -6)   
You have just got to put your mind to it. It is only a few more years and you have your future in your hands. If you let this go, that is your mistake. They want you to be independant. And you should be. It sounds like you are a popular guy. Just don't get serious. Think of your future and go for it. Talk to the counselor about ways to move on. We can give you advice, and that is what I am doing. I don't 'know if it is what you want to hear. But your parents are right. They are thinking of you and your future. They are giving you a gift by paying for your college. Then the money that you make on your job pays your rent and food. It is called growing up. And I guess those are the options for you. But to be able to go to university, don't you have to get your grades up? Just wondering. It is a wonderful oppertunity to be able to go. And it sounds like with your parents situation, financially, you should do the best that you can to help. But that is up to you. Some people don't have the oppertunity that you have. Some people don't see the price of your house in a lifetime. Over a half of a million dollars. That is something. Appreciate it.

I hope that you talk to your counselor again. You really need the support and a sense of direction. If you have a dream, and you do, go for it. You have more oppertunity than most. Take advantage of that. Then make the decisions of the other things in your life.

Be smart.

Take care, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

oliviapitson
New Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 5/13/2011 2:24 AM (GMT -6)   
My girl friend is not well she is always in depression. I really don't know what happened she doesn't tell me anything. First she share everything with me but now her behavior is changed. Please suggest what to do how can i get her in back condition.

BerryBlonde81
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 157
   Posted 5/13/2011 8:18 AM (GMT -6)   
Oliva, gently ask her how she is feeling, if she refuses to talk and if she has family that is supportive, maybe you can talk to her family letting them know how bad off she is right now? They may be able to reach her if you are unable to..
Bipolar II - Second Opinion Diagnosed 4/11/2011
Fibromyalgia - Diagnosed 12/2009

Zoloft 1996-2002?
Paxil 20mg 2002?-2011
Paxil 30mg 1/28/11-4/4/11 - increase not helpful; more anxiety; backed down to 20mg nightly
Switching Meds:
4/11/11 Paxil 20mg; Cymbalta 30mg nightly
4/18/11 Paxil 10mg; Cymbalta 60mg nightly
4/24/11 No Paxil; Cymbalta 60mg nightly
Klonopin .5 as needed

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42436
   Posted 5/13/2011 10:06 AM (GMT -6)   
Can you talk her into going to counseling?
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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