life is crap

Hello, and good news about the surgery going well. I will pray for her complete recovery and for no complications. My mom-in-law went in recently for emergency triple bypass and that totally threw me for a loop. She is doing very well and we are so thankful.

Do you have anyone you trust to talk about your feelings? This forum is really good and there are so many positive people who are have or are going through the same issues and my have some great advice for you.

I have learned that when I fall into deep depression I think really bad thoughts, like it would be better to be dead than to deal with this; BUT I have 3 kiddos and I would NOT do that to myself because it would cause them emotional harm and there is no way I could do that to them or my family. I have to keep myself really busy -- I tried taking time off work when I was in my hole, but that made me more depressed and I just wanted to sleep it away -- so after throwing a massive fit, I went back to work, and keeping myself thrown into my job does help. I am also a Christian, and pray and talk to God throughout the day, asking him to allow me to feel his healing of my burden of depression/anxiety/panic, etc., and let me tell you HE DOES. I would not be able to make it through a lot of my days without HIM. That is just how I cope, hope it is helpful to you, if not others will chime in with other advise.

Keep your chin up no matter how bad you feel, and if you have not sought a doc/counselor to help you with your feelings you might think about that....short term medication can also help a ton if you are not on one...

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Bipolar II - Second Opinion Diagnosed 4/11/2011
Fibromyalgia - Diagnosed 12/2009

Zoloft 1996-2002?
Paxil 20mg 2002?-2011
Paxil 30mg 1/28/11-4/4/11 - increase not helpful; more anxiety; backed down to 20mg nightly
Switching Meds:
4/11/11 Paxil 20mg; Cymbalta 30mg nightly
4/18/11 Paxil 10mg; Cymbalta 60mg nightly
4/24/11 No Paxil; Cymbalta 60mg nightly
Klonopin .5 as needed

NetBall, it's so good that your nana is having a good outcome from the surgery...
Prayers for her on that and keep strong for her okay, she'll always love you, many well wishes
for your nana and you....

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* So many dx's I could write a book* "It would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...
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Netball -- w/o breaking the forum rules, can you try to give us more detail of what you are dealing with yourself, so that we can try to help you in a better way...I know that here in the states if you are homicidal or suicidal you can go to the hospital and they will help you right then, have you thought about that option, or do you have an option like that where you live?

Do you have anyone, close friend or family member that you would feel comfortable talking with? I know that you said you do not have religion, I dont intend to push religion on you, but I do know that if you felt like you had no where to go a pastor of a local church would be more than happy to speak to you and give you some biblical guidance and be non-judgemental. I know myself that I cannot get though one day without God being by my side lifing me up and out of my struggles....if you have questions I can try to help you out in regards to how I cope day to day...

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Bipolar II - Second Opinion Diagnosed 4/11/2011
Fibromyalgia - Diagnosed 12/2009

Zoloft 1996-2002?
Paxil 20mg 2002?-2011
Paxil 30mg 1/28/11-4/4/11 - increase not helpful; more anxiety; backed down to 20mg nightly
Switching Meds:
4/11/11 Paxil 20mg; Cymbalta 30mg nightly
4/18/11 Paxil 10mg; Cymbalta 60mg nightly
4/24/11 No Paxil; Cymbalta 60mg nightly
Klonopin .5 as needed

that is all i can say without breaking the rules ..

Netball are you in college or highschool, do you have any family members or friends that would let you stay with them for a little while, while you sort things out?

Would you be willing to see a mental health special who could prescribe medication for the depression? I know that I cannot deal with life or my feelings unless I am on a good anti-depressant.

Praying for you to feel hope and healing very soon.....let us know how we can help you more...even if you need to private email one of us there are so many people on this forum that are GREAT to talk to an are so helpful I have learned (I am a newbie to the site).

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Bipolar II - Second Opinion Diagnosed 4/11/2011
Fibromyalgia - Diagnosed 12/2009

Zoloft 1996-2002?
Paxil 20mg 2002?-2011
Paxil 30mg 1/28/11-4/4/11 - increase not helpful; more anxiety; backed down to 20mg nightly
Switching Meds:
4/11/11 Paxil 20mg; Cymbalta 30mg nightly
4/18/11 Paxil 10mg; Cymbalta 60mg nightly
4/24/11 No Paxil; Cymbalta 60mg nightly
Klonopin .5 as needed