Not sure what part of the country you are in, but there is a wise womens conference in the fall in North Carolina, sponsored by Red Moon Herbs (check out their website).
I am sorry for your loss and can not imagine how you are feeling. I hope you find peace in your life soon.
I have found that when things are completely out of sorts in my life, the best thing I can do is work on myself.
Sending good vibes your way.