saturday night blues

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tryn2gtbtr
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 76
   Posted 5/14/2011 10:16 PM (GMT -6)   
well here it is another saturday night, alone, lonely, and depression is at it's highest. Can't really go anywhere, some of my friends are on dart leagues, but at bars,so I want to go,but don't want to be in the bar atmosphere. Only leading to drinks, and drunks and alot of bs. So I'm grateful for the roof over my head, my health for today ok. But really lonely for company, family and a life as i use to know it. Always working and always there for my daughter willing and able to help her with my grandson. My daughter is a single mom who works full time with taking care of my grandson alone since i got sick and had to leave the state. we're now 3,000 miles apart. Now his dad has had a horrific mri last week.
With 3 herniated disks in his lower back which has left him home, unable to work and unable to see his son on the weekends. My grandson took it really hard and of course my daughter stressing over child support. Affraid he won't be able to keep up with payments. It's always something.With my illness when stress hits me it puts automatic pain in my legs, and my brain goes into a tailspin.trying to stay positive, and optimistic, but darn what else??? Ya know like taking 3 steps forward and then bam!!! 5 steps  back. just wonder will it ever get easier????? Well hello out there to all the lonely depressed people tonight hoping you all a good weekend and no sorrows. Take care and thanx for listening to me crying. cry cry cry sue

BerryBlonde81
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 157
   Posted 5/14/2011 10:31 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello Sue, so sorry to hear that you are having hard time....for me when I get super stressed my whole world seems to turn upside down mentally....I have been on a roller coaster ride with emotions and moods since Jan 2011 and it May! Yeah it has been on hell of a ride.....I think that I am stating to see the light at the far off tunnel shining through......I have to keep myself soooo busy (no too hard because i work full time, have 3 young kids, and a husband) but I still have to keep busy when I am at home because I will get so unmotivated.....I take naps on the weekends as that is the only time I get a nap and the hubby and kids dont understand my need for extra sleep and they arent always nice to me about it but oh well...my body and mind needs it.

Throughout my ordeals the only one true thing that I can rely on to make me feel better is GOD. I talk and pray to him through out the day when I am struggling I cry out to him to allow me to feel him healing me of my burden -- and he does. When I am feeling less depressed/anxious I praise his name for it!! Life is not meant to be easy and we need to do what is best for us to feel better....do you currently take anything for depression? There are so many meds out there to offer relief....

Take care and I will pray for healing, peace, and positive feelings to come your way...
Bipolar II - Second Opinion Diagnosed 4/11/2011
Fibromyalgia - Diagnosed 12/2009

Zoloft 1996-2002?
Paxil 20mg 2002?-2011
Paxil 30mg 1/28/11-4/4/11 - increase not helpful; more anxiety; backed down to 20mg nightly
Switching Meds:
4/11/11 Paxil 20mg; Cymbalta 30mg nightly
4/18/11 Paxil 10mg; Cymbalta 60mg nightly
4/24/11 No Paxil; Cymbalta 60mg nightly
Klonopin .5 as needed

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 5/15/2011 1:27 AM (GMT -6)   
sue, sorry my dear. me lonely too. sending healing hugs to you. jamie

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 5/15/2011 8:25 AM (GMT -6)   
Sue,

Know that things are going to work out for the best. There are little hidden things in life that come out when you need them. Just have faith.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

tryn2gtbtr
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 76
   Posted 5/16/2011 12:06 AM (GMT -6)   
tongue  thank you for all that replied to my pity pot last night. got through the night and feeling better today. Thank god. I guess we all get caught up with our own depression and in the moment don't realize how much worse it can and has been. Comparing my life to last year and how far i've come physically i should just slap myself for feeling sorry formyself. and just be grateful for what i have in the now. A really great support team of friends out there on this forum, which i don't know how i found this, must have been my guardian angel, once again. I do pray, but it seems in dispare. Not enough when things are going good, which i should do more often. I know what it feels like to raise 3 children, work, and to be so overwhelmed with being tired, could almost fall asleep behind the wheel. But honestly wish i could turn back time when i was a young mother and had my children all in my nest. It hurts so much when you need them, but life changes and sometimes it takes our loved ones away. But on the lighter side my daughter and grandson will be visiting me in july. We talk every day. and i am grateful for that. I was such a hands on grandma with my grandson i miss that soooo very much. Patience is what i need. I know it won't be like this forever, but sometimes it just really s--ks!!!!!! again thanx for all the helpful emotions coming my way. Today was better. Tomorrow who knows?????????
 
Methotrexate
prednisone
ellavil
xanax
morphine
folic acid
vitamin d
multi vit
b-complex
lots of coffee in am
lots of fruit and veggies
eating healthy
trying to quit smoking
diagnosed with polymyositis in 10/09
depression and anxiety 11/09
 

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 5/16/2011 9:10 AM (GMT -6)   
HI there,

I am so happy that things are turning around for you. Keep up the good work, and keep your chin up. You are a good person and a special member to us all.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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