lost in the society

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Sam73
New Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 5/15/2011 11:04 AM (GMT -6)   
Just wanted to say, it's amazing to have a site like this, and I really do hope ppl here do not judge. I've been trying to find something like this to get what I wanted to say out of my chest but never really had gut to...but finally, today after what I did last week during a social gathering, I realize that I need to. I pretty much made an a** out of myself and turned away good ppl, including good friends, by being arrogant and acting like someone that I'm not, only to realize it at the end of the night. I'm trying to change but being alone for all my life, I just get caught up in moment trying to impress ppl by acting out. I think the best thing is to stay in my own bubble and do things I need to do to make the ends meet. I never wanted to be anti-social and maybe I tried way too much not to be one, but I think I know where it stands. Sometimes solitude is the only society to some ppl, and I think that will include me.

Any honest opinion will mean a lot to me.

Sam. :-)

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42432
   Posted 5/15/2011 1:05 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Sam,

Welcome to the forum. You don't have to be antisocial. Just control what you say and do. Maybe be a little less social, but don't seclude yourself all together. I think right now you are seeing things in black and white when there are gray areas. It is called all or nothing thinking. Maybe you are a little embarrassed from what happened but that is soon to be forgotten by all I am sure. Start fresh and continue to move on past it.

Know that you will get a lot of support here. It took a lot of guts for you just to post and I am so glad that you did. You are starting a healing journey now. So be prepared to feel better about life and all things.

I hope that you continue to have a nice day.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Sam73
New Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 5/15/2011 4:25 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Karen,

I really appreciate your kind words and what you told me. I just felt like part of me died because I made a fool out of myself to a close friend who had been there with me through good and bad times. And she was very frustrated that after all the things I've done and said, I still manage to be different person when I'm in crowd. I feel like I lost part of her trust, which really kills me. And I'm pretty much wordless on how to even describe it. It's one thing to lose friend but another to have lost a trust from a person. My dad went through depression and he's slowly recovering from it and I'm starting to see I might fall into the same path if I don't do anything different and just stay in my own bubble. I just feel like I can't tell this to no one because ppl doesn't believe that I have this emptiness inside me because I'm always outgoing and optimistic. I'm confused honestly...and very disappointed with myself that I don't want to see any person right now, thus I turn here for some help.

Thanks again Karen.

I really appreciate it, from my heart.

Sam.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42432
   Posted 5/15/2011 6:32 PM (GMT -6)   
Sam,

I am so glad that you feel comfortable posting here. It is the weekend and it is a little slower. I am sure that during the week, you will get more replies than mine. As it is busier during the week.

I think in time you will feel comfortable and trustworthy of your friend. Give her time to digest whatever it is that you said and done. I am sure it will take a little time for you to get over it too. But as they say, time heals all.

I hope that you feel better soon.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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