Spouse depressed? I'm not sure...

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New Member

Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 5/19/2011 11:36 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello all,
This is my first time posting here. My husband thinks he suffers from depression, however, I'm not sure that's what it is. His "episodes" last anywhere from 20 mins to 4 hours. I've never known them to last more than that. Here's what happens... He'll get ticked off at the slightest thing and then emotionally shut down. For example: two days ago we were going shopping. Before we walked out the door I told him, "Wow, it's already 1. No wonder I'm hungry for lunch." His response to that was sort of no big deal. He knows that I'm hypoglycemic and will need something. Because he didn't act like it was a big deal, I assumed he was taking me to lunch. Also, before we walked out he asked if I had my cell phone. I told him it was in my purse. We got maybe 3 houses down and I checked my purse and noticed that my phone wasn't in there. All of a sudden he was a different person, talking mean. It wasn't like we were 3 miles away, we were only 3 houses away. Anyway, trying to make a long story short here... I got out of the truck and told him I was staying home. He tried to bark orders at me to go with him and I refused to be stuck in a car with someone he is going to talk hateful. A few hours later, after his friend came over and he had to pretend nothing was wrong, he sincerely apologized to me. He said he didn't know what came over him. It was like he was being sucked in a black hole and although he wanted to say he loved me and say he was sorry, it was like he just couldn't do it. He thinks he suffers from depression and that this was part of that. His dad and his dad's brother both have depression and take meds for it. However, I'm not convinced it's depression. This only happens with him about 2 - 3 times a year and it seems mostly when finances are tight. For this "episode", he mentioned later that he couldn't afford for us to go to lunch. Yet, the day after, he takes not only me to lunch, but our daughter and his friend and his friend's son. I love him and I want to help him, but I don't know if this is symptoms of depression or some other mental illness. Anyone have any ideas? Thank you all for reading through my long post.


getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 5/19/2011 1:18 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Marixi,

Sounds like your husband maybe needs to make t trip to the doctor. He should have a complete physical (If he hasn't had one recently) and check to see if something else could be going on. And he should explain to the doc what is going on with him. That he has a family history of depression and that he thinks he may have it. The doc will know what to do. He may just need something for when he is under stress or he may need to take meds every day.

So I would say that the best thing that you could do is encourage him to go to the doctor. Try not to assume anything. Ask him outright, for instance when you told him you were hungry, ask him if you could stop and get something to eat. Don't assume anything because you don't know, he may have gotten side tracked as he is probably having trouble focussing on things at this time.

Stress plays a hard roll on our health. If he is worrying about finances, he will be stressed and that can cause all kinds of health problems.

You are a good person for wanting to help your husband, but all you can do is encourage him to get help. The rest he has to do himself. And if he is worried about it, I think he will be more than willing to get it.

Best wishes to you.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9664
   Posted 5/19/2011 10:25 PM (GMT -6)   
I agree with Karen (getting by) you need to get your husband into the doctor to be seen...
it very well could be early alzheimer's but he needs to be seen...anytime anyone has sudden behavior changes
they need to get seen by a doctor...please make the appointments, it's always best to error on the side of caution...
well wishes and keep us posted...
* So many dx's I could write a book* "It would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...
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