Messed up situation =(

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Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 5/21/2011 2:02 PM (GMT -6)   
I've been sleeping with a married man; sneeking round; making innuendos when he's in the office. It's got to a point where I don't just want him to be someone I sleep with =(. I have depression and not been takin my tablets which i know is stupid. I'm so annoyed at myself for ever gettin into this situation. My days seem to hang on wether he calls me or not and if he doesnt I always try and think of reasons why I have to call him just so I can talk to him. I hate it. He always says to be honest with him if I want to stop; I do but I know what he's like; he'll be hurt and hold the whole situation against me. He knows a lot about me and it scares me that he's got that power over me I feel he's the type of guy that if I tried to break it off with him he'd be hurt and angry with me. Or he'd do things to hurt me deliberately. I really don't know what to do. My heads so messed up right now. I know what I want to do and I know what the right thing to do but I just don't know. Also as added pressure a mutual friend of ours asked me yesterday if I was seeing this guy behind his wifes back and i had to lie about it. This guy is a lot older than me and I can't talk to anyone about it; I'm distancing myself from everyone including my family. I really don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt him confused   but I'm destroyed inside.

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42613
   Posted 5/21/2011 8:21 PM (GMT 0)   
You are just setting yourself up to get hurt. Forget about hurting him, if you want out of the situation, get out of it. Did you know that you can be sued by his wife as a corespondant if she finds out about this? Know that he will always have his life with his wife, and you will never come first. She will. And if they have children, that makes it even more complicated.

In actuality, you are being very selfish. You could be ruining a whole family if they have children. Would you like this to happen to you? You might not realize it now, but it could. And I am sure that you would be devastated. Especially if there were children concerned. He is using you, and you are using him too. It doesn't feel like a good relationship. I would get out now while the getting is good.

With the fact that he is older than you, that makes it even more difficult to have a relationship. Especially if you are young, and it sounds like you are. He will be getting old and you will still be young and vibrant. I don't think it is going to work out for you. And I hate to see you get hurt more than you already are. I don't mean to sound like a downer, but I honestly don't see this going anywhere. And remember, if he cheats on his wife, if you were to ever get together, he will cheat on you too. He doesn't really sound like a very nice guy. He is using both of you.

I hope that you can find your way to a healthy relationship. Take this one day at a time, but do back out of this relationship for your own good.

take care,

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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