Sad and Regretful

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glen098
New Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 5/23/2011 12:50 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi!
My mom just told me that she hates me and doesn't want to be my mother any more. I know that it is partly my fault, but i guess i should explain. I am 14 years old and am taking an online school, and have been for a year and a half. I have been having a lot of trouble keeping up with work, and when ever i would admit that i was behind, she would scream at me for a long time. half a year ago, i started lying about whether i did my homework or not, because, ironically i didn't want to get yelled at. I'm not the best lie-sustainer , so she would end up screaming anyway. For some stupid reason, i kept lying about it, off and on for the next few months (And got caught and screamed at every time). I want to change, i really do, but it's hard and i am having trouble. So this time, i did not lie to her about a late algebra test (a subject that her and i both suck at) and she freaked out, saying i was a selfish b**** and could be a p*ostitute for all she cared. That hurts because i get A's in all my other classes and am trying to fix my lying. I don't do drugs, drink, or hang out with "the bad crowd" like she used to, and am still "pure". Now she hates me and doesn't want me and i am hurt. I know part of it is my fault, but i don't think it's that bad. Please tell me what i can do.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42285
   Posted 5/23/2011 4:03 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Glen098,

It sounds pretty simple to me, start studying and stop lieing about it. That is what she seems to expect. When somebody lies all the time, then people start to never believe them. That is it plain and simple. When people lie to me, I can't trust them and it puts me on edge. I suspect that your mom is going through the same thing. She is on edge because she cant' believe you. And when you are on edge, you get nervous and irritable. So try not to lie. Do your studies.

Why are you taking online courses instead of going to school? You are missing all the interaction of school. Is there a reason why you are doing it this way? Let us know.

I hope that you and your mom can work things out. I hate to see relationships that are so special go sour. Keep trying and take it one day at a time. Keep posting too.

Hugs to you, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9661
   Posted 5/23/2011 7:43 AM (GMT -6)   
Can you get an on-line tutor for the algebra, that might help...look into it and then maybe you could
start being good in algebra, stop thinking of it as complex, don't make it harder for yourself...
look into on-line tutoring and that could make a difference, you are very smart and can do this,
believe in yourself, make it happen....
well wishes to you and keep us posted....
**********************************************
* So many dx's I could write a book* "It would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...
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glen098
New Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 5/23/2011 11:25 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for the replies. Actually, i never got bad grades in anything until i joined this school (i really don't like this school). So, i may be going back to public school (which opened another can of worms with my mother.) She projects her teen-aged self onto me, thinking that i'm going to sleep around and do drugs. Her worries are understandable, but mislead. Anyway, i hope this option will clear the air. I think i'll still get a tutor.BUT my math finals are today and i already passed an AFD quiz, which automatically puts me in geometry! Things are looking a little better!

Post Edited (glen098) : 5/23/2011 11:37:58 AM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42285
   Posted 5/23/2011 12:37 PM (GMT -6)   
Happy for you Glen.

I am sorry that your mother projects her past mistakes on you. It is tough when somebody is always waiting for us to slip up. But you are doing good. Be proud of yourself.

Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

glen098
New Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 5/23/2011 3:08 PM (GMT -6)   
Geez, i came home from final, and mom picks a fight with me! I didn't even talk to her! She got all worked up, even though i barely said anything, and when she did ask for my opinion, she wouldn't be quiet long enough for me to answer, and she got mad at me for not answering! She tried to strangle my (half-halfheartedly, she probably doesn't want to kill me) demanding answers to my actions. How am i supposed to answer like that?" Then she acted like it was totally stupid that i was crying after that! Just to clear something up, she has only hit me 3 time in my life and the first time she has done something like that. I don't say sorry because when i do, she yells about how I'll never change (although I've only been "bad" for half a year) and tell me how she will move out this month and it's all my fault. I really want to move out, but i don't know what to do. I'm about to go on a trip without her, so i hope that will make things better.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42285
   Posted 5/23/2011 5:16 PM (GMT -6)   
I think some time away from her will do you both good. What did my mean when you said that you have only been 'bad' a half a year? What are you doing to be bad and why are you doing it? I just want a clear picture of what is going on (within the forum rules). Try to be good. You never know what is making your mom irritable? Maybe she isn't feeling well. It is hard to say what is going on with the other person.

Take care,

Keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

glen098
New Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 5/23/2011 7:51 PM (GMT -6)   
Yes, sorry i was a little unclear. My mom, for the last year and a half, has been out of work due to an injury that is difficult to recover from. this has taxed her mentally and physically (as well as spiritually) because of this, she admits that she hasn't been the best mother, and this last half year, i started to lie. It is pretty disturbing, even to me because i NEVER lied before and now it's like second nature. You have to understand that i have a very calm and passive personality, and actually, this is the first time i'm talking to anyone about anything personal. So when she gets upset, i try to be quiet and not get mad (which i later find, gets her even more mad). I have found out that doing this actually builds up stress in me and because i don't really talk to others much, it just keeps building. So we have the emotional and frustrated mom, and the about-to-burst daughter. Then, i do something like lie, and everything hits the roof. (as to why, see my first post) Then she says that i can talk to her about anything, but when i do tell her about mistakes (school-related or otherwise) she tells me that i made a stupid decision and sometimes yells at me. I am trying to change, but it's hard and she doesn't give me the chance and remembers for forever. I'll probably be hearing about it until i'm 20. Anyway, thanks for conversing with me, it's just so hard to talk sometimes and this site makes it easier, even if it is partly my fault. It feels like i can be open and honest without any repercussions. Thanks!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42285
   Posted 5/24/2011 4:28 AM (GMT -6)   
I am glad that you can talk here. You wont be judged, but you will get honest replies that you might not like so well. But we feel we have to be honest with you.

I am sorry about your lieing. This can become a habit. And honestly when people lie, others stop listening. Because they feel like, what is the point??? But I think since you recognize this, you can work on stopping. Try to be honest. I know that you are being honest here, I think you are. And that can help you a lot. I am sure others will chime in and tell you what they think and what they have been through.

You are a good person deep down. And maybe your family life isn't the best. But you don't have too many more years of that. Work on school, find things that you enjoy doing and go for it. Maybe it is art, or sports, just try to find someting extra cirricular that you like to do. Take an extra class in that. I know summer is coming. Maybe you would like a summer job. That is if ;you get summers off. You could earn some extra money to get things that you like. If you are old enough to work.

I wish for you the best. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

glen098
New Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 5/24/2011 1:26 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks! I will think about a job!
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