SO as of recently me and Mason/Mana broke up. I am very broken down as of recently. Unfortunately it really doesnt matte my say on anything these days and quite frankly I have considered becomming an emotionless freak.
I feel like nothing I do is enough and I feel like that Im nopt really good enough for anybody. I have been through a few to many relationships and each pne I have gotten hurt in, not only with bf's or gf'd but with family as well.
Right now I am just trying to keep myself sane and trying to finnish highschool, apparently this was going to happen no matter what I did right after I graduated, which I had a feeling it would.
It SEEMS EVERY ****ING time I have a feeling about
something itit ALWAYS happens. Im nit going to say everything because I dont want to embarrass anyone by saying everything that has happened within my life. In a way I just feel like I am pshysic in a way, It REALLY sucks somnetimes, but also prepares me for the worse.
I am really ggetting..know AM sick of getting hurt and taken advanbtage of by everytone and theirr mothers.
I dont know how much more of this I can take anymore.
Currently I am miserable and if I mention it to anyone I am considered a drama queen or annoyign or whatever else it is that you people like to call me to put me dpwn.
Apparently my emotions mean nothing to anyone and I am not alowwed to have them otherwise I am an annoying piss ant. If I am even the least bit upset I get put down for it.
Anytime I am upset I run into my room and cry my eyes outuntil I fall asleep and try top hold in my voice and try to hold in the pain so I dont get told to shut up or that I am taking things out of proportion so I dont get *****ed at or hit for being 'stupid' as everyone calls iut hear.
I dont know what to do anymore, depression is almost literaly killing me..I have no idea how to fix anything anymore, its becomming harder and harder top care about
anything or anyone...
ANytime I think about
Mason I almost want to brake down in tears...and then other past relationships pop ingto my head and they make me feel even more miserable..
*sighs* I dont knwo what to do with nyself.
Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 5/27/2011 7:56:26 PM (GMT-6)