Upset and Confused

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Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 5/30/2011 3:54 AM (GMT -6)   
I have been out of work for about six months.  I don't know what to do.  I mean I've been trying and all of this. But really I just don't know. The past year and a half or so has been very difficult.  I keep moving around.  I've been through a couple of breakups.  Places in the area keep closing down like crazy.  Seems like the economy is at a total standstill.  Until recentlty I was in touch with my family, but I had to let it go, since both my father and my brother just have vicious tempers. This is the first year that I did not spend the holidays iwth them.  The last call I got from my brother was a threatening one, screaming, telling me that he was going to beat his girlfriend.  I couldn't get off of the phone.  I was really scared.  He had beaten me once when I lived there, bad enough to be injured.
I feel scared a lot.  I can't stay with family during this period of unemployment.  I am living on my savings.  I don't know if I should do a  career change or what.  I don't understand what's going on.  I keep trying to move back home to where the extended family is out of state, and had an offer to come live there, but when I checked it out, my cousin said that his mother and my mother were talking, and that I coudldn't move there 'without my mothers permission, since I am trying to escape.' I am 38. And so if I want to escape, yeah so what.  Life is much happier for me there. I keep trying and trying, but I'm running out of money, lout of time. This is awful. No jobs to be had.  Friends help me, but I have no family where I live to speak of, and I want to go home.  No one seems willing to commit to a relationship, even when I was making money and doing well. 
I don't want to get up out of bed in this dump of the extended stay.  I have no reason to do anything it seems. I don't get it.  When I tried to work things out with my brother, he just told me that 'everyone hits each other; that he was tired of women like me trying to control him.'
All I can do is think of all the rejections, of all the bad things, about being alone and out of a relationship at my age. No one seems to understand, no matter how hard I work.  Most of my bf's have left me or just don't care. I see no point in trying again. I see no point in anything.
On top of it, I had an abnormal ultra sound, and they want to do a cancer marker test, which is protocol, but it still scares me. All I wanted in life was some decent work and a family of my own. It seems like there is nothing for me. My career was my life. When my job was over, my roommate also walked out, just disappearred.  I don't know. I just can't figure anything out.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 5/30/2011 9:23 AM (GMT -6)   
sounds like you are between a rock and a hard place. I am sorry to hear that. But if your family is violent, don't go back home. Get a carreer counselor and see what you can do. What was your carrer? I am sorry that things aren't working out. I sense your fears. One day at a time my friend. I am sure that something will come up. You might have to settle for a lesser job for awhile. Until you find something to your liking. Jobs are kind os scarce right now. Not a good time for the economy. I hope and pray that things work out for you. Keep posting here and know that everybody cares.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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