Im new here but dealing with depression and betrayal

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

scarlett32
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2011
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 6/1/2011 3:33 PM (GMT -6)   
I know I am new here but I don't want to impose or sound like a 15 yr old but Ive been depressed for over a week and I can not shake the feeling I'm having. One of my friends that I known for 5 yrs decided to attack me personally because of my mentality and tried to say I had borderline personality disorder when I had a proper diganosis of my condition through a therapist. 
Here is a blog I wrote and I hope someone can shed some insight on what to do, I am done with her toxic ways and always pointing the finger at me when everything is my fault, yet she fails to see the seriousness of her problems.
 
My (ex) best friend and I are no longer friends. A couple weeks ago, it all started with her sister saying I was always mimicking her likes and phrases when I wasn't and that my (ex) friend and my wedding anniversary was 5 days apart. Then it lead into a huge fight over this which also included my ex friends friend as well. (Of course, she will side with my ex friend). Anyways, my friend was told  I was supposedly throwing insults to her sister when I was trying to explain that I wasn't saying anything hasteful towards her and trying to explain that I always had the same interest. Her sister basically threw abusive words towards me and throwing my mentality in my face when she failed to see it was her that was actually hurting me instead of me hurting her, claiming that I'm always doing the "boo hoo, whoa is me bit" when I wrote something deep about my issue of depression. Her sister said "Well, I can verbally or attack you if I wanted to" and I took it as a threat. Well after 2 days, I calmy came to my senses and wrote an apology letter to her, yet she did not accept it or even apologize to me.
Well, this past Saturday, I decided to take a break with this drama and to relax as I didn't want to feed into the fire. However, she sends me a lengthy email to me, her sister and her husband about my mental stability and how her sister and I are throwing words back and forth to each other when nothing wasn't said for the past week".Then she sent me a link saying that I had I had "borderline personality disorder" when she is not licensed to treat or to asset my mentality. Then she goes to say that I fail to seek help when I was seeking help for my issues and I explained to her that I did get an assessment done. She "quoted" She wasn't judgemental of anyone's mental status. Well, I wrote her back and told her that I read her email and I understood it but to throw that I had BDP in my face when she did not had the correct diagnosis was wrong. I reminded her calmy that her mood swings are so out of control and she fails to seek help or to think anything is wrong. I was talking to my therapist and mentioned to me she has narcissistic personality disorder and more so if I throw that in her face, she will go on a crying spree or a huge angry rampage.She believes everyone envies her, everyone wants to try to be her and she has deep issues regarding her work or is able to hold a friendship down. Her mood one day can be nothing cares in the world to very volatile and worrying if she will try to harm someone..I As being a friend, I was worried about her mental stability.  After 3 days of not speaking to each other and trying to relax to get over this, I get a very nasty email yesterday saying I was playing games and her sister said I was mentally abusing her from several states away when realistically I never hardly talked to her as she claimed she was so busy. She threw in my husband and saying that he was always pacifying whatever mood or thought I had and basically protecting me. My husband mentioned to me he does not want to be in the middle of this or does her husband. . She told me from the advice from her sister and her 3rd party that she was done with me and she doesn't want me to contact her again. I can not understand why this woman who is close to 40 yrs old has to act like a immature 15 yr old and realize that she was hurting me as well when all I was trying to do was get away from the drama. It takes 2 people to cause a scene and yet I was the one who has the mental issues which she threw in my face. Well, I had enough of her toxicity and I can not be around someone who constantly lies, judges and point fingers when she don't see the seriousness of her problems yet when its me, Im always to blame. Other people tell me I was glad to get rid of the toxicity of this friendship, however I think my husbands friendship with her husband may suffer now because of this. I have no problems with my husband keeping friends with him, she may. Im hurt and deeply sadened about this ordeal now I feel like everything is my fault. Have I done something to deserve this?

Post Edited (scarlett32) : 6/1/2011 3:46:47 PM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42434
   Posted 6/1/2011 5:51 PM (GMT -6)   
It doesn't sound like you did anything to deserve this. But it sounds like you and her personality clash and that happens from time to time. And you got the sister there too. I think you are right to avoid this drama. Friends will come and go. Maybe this friendship just wasn't meant to be.

Maybe just some time apart would do you both good.

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

scarlett32
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2011
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 6/2/2011 6:29 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you Karen, I know I feel betrayed and hurt but I should realize this is a life process. I'll be ok once I talk to my therapist and life will move on :)

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42434
   Posted 6/2/2011 7:03 AM (GMT -6)   
Scarlett32,

I am so glad that you are going to talk to your therapist. I think you will be glad that you did. Best wishes to you my friend.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Wednesday, June 20, 2018 1:32 PM (GMT -6)
There are a total of 2,973,725 posts in 326,123 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 161109 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, HPB22.
448 Guest(s), 15 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Adele1983, YoungSuffererCanada, Lwill351, HaleyBugs07, Gladioli66, getting by, Healing98, Saipan Paradise, Big Tasty, Cyclone-ISU, Old Mike, Busted1, CAdogsRus, xy123, HPB22