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naley
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 6/4/2011 3:09 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello, my name is Naley I'm 15 years old. And I want to tell you about my story. It isn'tit a severe depression case but it's still something I would like to ask your opinion on.
So this is how it all started. At school there was this big fight going on between the guys and the girls. But not all of them. The guys were accusing the girls for talking behind theyre backs. But then the guys forgave all the girls except me and my bestfriend. (were 4 bestfriends) Anyways, even our closest friends were accusing us of talking behind theyre backs. Me and my bestfriend apologized, but we didn't know why because we hadn't been talking behind they're backs. Lots of things have been said and done, and lots of people have been hurt including me. There was this wierd tension in class that was going on about 3 weeks. But yesterday was the last day of school, so me and my bestfriend decided to just fix the problem so we can leave happy from this school cuz everyone will be changing schools the next year. But everything fell out of proportion, everything got worse, and I just found out that the guys really didnt care. Lots of people got hurt and cried yesterday. But we still have the 2 weeks of final exams, but we wont have time to talk together because after the exams we go home.
So afterwards I went home after school, I havent told my mom about this because I didn't want to bore her with my stupid teenage stories. So I come home in a really bad mood. And my mom and dad say hi, hows your day and everything. But then my mom told me to tie my hair or she'll cut them but she always tells me to tie my hair so I got really fed up and started talking to her with attitude. Then my dad tells me to calm down. I talkback to him and the fight starts. We had a huge fight (verbaly not physically of course). And my parents were so mad that they called my grandma to bring me to her house because they didn't know how to deal with me. And it's not the first time I fought with my parents, I fight oftenly with them. Especially with my dad. And he's the type who gets sick really fast. After one fight he could easily get really really really sick (which I hope dosen't happen, "knock on wood"). And I have the same character as my dad, when I get mad I don't keep it in me I express it. So me and my dad don't go along really often. I want to have a good relationship with my father, I don't want to fight with my father. Please help me. I want to go back home and have a normal relationship with my father. I don't know what  to do anymore, for my 2 problems especially for my second one. I have no one to talk about this to, please help !

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42431
   Posted 6/4/2011 3:45 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Naley,

And welcome to the depression forum. It sounds like you should let things cool down for awhile and then talk to them about going back home. You have to learn in life you don't bring your work (school) home and you don't take your problems from home to school. You got to try to seperate the things so that it doesn't effect your mood. You were probably still upset from what went on at school and you got irritated easily. As you get older, you will learn to get over things quicker. Because life is really short and there is no reason to hang on to bad feelings. Things probably seem like they take a long time now, but when you get older the time goes by faster and faster. So your life really goes by fast. Learn to let things go and to go with the flow. Try to be happy. Being depressed is no fun at all. Enjoy when you can.

Do give it a few days and let your parents cool off. Then talk to them. Try to be pleasant. Even if they are not. Things go much smoother that way.

In a few years you will have to go out on your own. So study hard so that you can get a good job. Is there anything that you are interested in persueing? Think about it.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

naley
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 6/4/2011 8:31 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you so much for the help. I understand what you're talking about and it all makes sense but before you reply my message I was talking to my mom on the phone and we fought. Because I feel like I'm the only one who says sorry, even if theyre my parents, nobody's perfect everyone makes mistakes. But when I say sorry and admit to my mistakes they don't do the same. I know it's not something to be proud of, but when there's a problem going on I don't say sorry that easily. Anyways my mom was on the phone telling me if I knew my mistakes and everything I told her that Im not the only one who has to say sorry, and she told me thats the rules parents dont say sorry. Im just tired, I dont want to fight anymore I just want this to end. But on the other hand, why do you think we fight oftenly? Maybe its because I'm the one who allways says sorry and sometimes dont mean it, but I still have this anger in me. Like I said before, when Im mad I express what I feel, I cant keep it in me. But this, I have kept it so long that it all of a sudden just blew up. It's my second night at my grandma's house. Tomorrow my sister is going to come pick me up from my grandma's and bring me back home. I don't know what to do or say tomorrow. I'm so scared and nervous at the same time. Help!
Please answer these questions too (if you have time):
-Why do you think me and my parents are having so much problems?
-What should I say or do tomorrow to them, like what should I say exactly?
-What can me and my parents do to improve our relationship, and prevent these fights?
-What should I do to my dad to change his mood and for him to be healthier mentally and physically?
Because I have already told you that he gets sick really oftenly and really easily. The reason is that his past wasn't an easy one. His father(my grandfather) died recently like in december. And also because hes a dentist and has alot of stress. What is the key to health and happiness mentally and physically?
Please answer ASAP.
Thank you (:

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42431
   Posted 6/5/2011 6:23 AM (GMT -6)   
I thik as adolescents, we all go through communication gaps with our parents. I always felt mine didn't understand me. I almost think that is just the way it is. Difference in age. When we are young, we think we know everything. But we don't. I learned that the hard way. The key is to listen and learn. /tomorrow, I would try to understand what they are saying. It isn't going to be easy. They might have rules that you don't like. Being open and honest is the way to go. Try to see their point of things. I wonder if family counsleing would help. Yes, Dentists have the most stress. I don' tknow why that is, but I have heard that it is true. Who would want that job anyway? I don't know. But the stress level is very high. Working on other peoples mouths, with drills, you have to have nerves of steel. I don't know my friend. Take this one day at a time. I wish you the best with your parents. I hope that everything works out for you all.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

naley
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 6/5/2011 7:16 AM (GMT -6)   
Ok, thank you so much for your help. I've got to go home, now. I just hope everything works out too. You really helped me, I really appreciate it. I know it wasn't a really severe depression case, but I really had no one else to go to. Anyways thank you for your time. And I'll keep everything you told me in mind.
I'll let you know what happened today.

-Thanks again Karen :)

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42431
   Posted 6/5/2011 8:52 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Naley,

I noticed I made a few spelling errors in my last post. Sorry. It was early and my hands don't work so good. I really do hope everything works out good for you and your family. Do let us know how it goes.

Hugs and blessings, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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