Another depressed person

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clockwork_monkey
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2011
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 6/6/2011 12:54 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi,

I'm a 20 year old student living in the UK, and over the past 6 months I've been dealing with horribly low moods that leave me exhausted from crying for hours on end. I never have a specific reason for these bouts of crying, they just start and ruin my day. I think I'm probably depressed.

I've been to my doctor about it before and she sent me to my university's counseling service who proceeded to tell me I was still in mourning for my grandparents (which I totally disagree with). My doctor also refused to believe that the brand of contraceptive pills I've been on for just over a year had anything to do with it. I can't take herbal remedies because I'm on the Pill, so I have no real idea how I can deal with these moods without begging for anti-depressants.

In the past it has effected my uni work - I wasn't going to classes last semester and this got me in trouble. It's also now taking a toll on my relationship. This is probably more of an issue for me than anything else, because we're happy and me being on a downer a few times a month is driving both me and my boyfriend insane. I'm scared that if I don't find help soon, I'm going to lose one of the few things I have that makes me truly happy.

I can't figure out why I've been feeling this way - it appears to have started since I moved into my flat. I don't get on with any of them, and so pretty much every day when I don't see my best friend or my boyfriend I'm completely alone and live kind of like a recluse. This has got worse since uni finished for the summer as people have started moving out. Maybe it's because of all this, I'm not sure.

In the evenings and sometimes in the daytime I feel an incredible sense of isolation and sadness, I lose my appetite and I don't feel motivated to do anything, even for fun. I don't feel suicidal, however.

This week, both my boyfriend and my best friend are away until the weekend, so between going to work and bedtime I will have no escape. I'm worried that I'll become even worse.

What I can I do to stay positive and stop myself from being depressed? Will this all go away once I move out for the summer?

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42439
   Posted 6/6/2011 1:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi clockwork_monkey,

I am sorry that you are feeling so down. It is hard to say what will happen over the summer til it gets here. You never know, you may be surprised and have a good summer. You will probably be outside more and in the sunshine instead of in classes and cooped up in your flat.

We often do have underlying issues that our in our subconscious. That is why the doctor probably thinks that you are grieving. It is hard to say. The subconscious is tricky and hard to get into. But none the less, I wonder if you should go to counseling to help you through this.

What kind of a job do you have? How many hours do you work a weeik? Do you like it? It seems that with work and school, that you wouldn't have much down time and time to dwell on things or think too much. Do you find that you get depressed thoughts when your mind is more idle? That is usually when I think the most, so I try to keep busy. And I get out and walk as much as I can. It clears the head and is good for you physically too. So try to get out and walk and reflect on things. See if that doesn't help you.

It doesn't sound like you want to be on medications. With a good counselor, maybe you wont have to. Good therapy, can often help you so that you don't need medicatoins. And if you have to go on medications, it isn't so bad. Often you can find what works for you quickly, but sometimes it takes a few tries.

You really need to try to take your classes very seriously and make that your top priority in the future. If the depression is getting in the way of your learning, then it is time to be proactive and get some help.

I hope that you feel better soon. And I hope that you talk to your doctor so that you can either get into counseling or on medication.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

clockwork_monkey
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2011
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 6/6/2011 2:10 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Karen,

It's funny you should say that, I do tend to get depressed when I'm not doing anything. Maybe I'll try taking walks more often.

It's actually more of a work placement than a job per-say- I'm a journalism student, and I'll be working in the newsroom of a local radio station. I'm hoping that will make me happy enough to get through the day, because I love working there, but I'm also worried that I'll turn up depressed or that I'll come home and be depressed, tell my boyfriend about it, and then he'll crack.

I think I actually get more downtime than other students because I don't get too much work, though, but maybe I've been too quick to dismiss my feelings in the past... I'm willing to admit it's not be a good few year for me - my favourite grandad died 2 years ago, which was a very traumatic experience for me and still upsets me on occasion now, my grandma in September this year, and the family dog which has been around for 14 years (since I was 5 or 6) died 2 weeks ago. Maybe I'm not good at grieving - I spent a day crying over the dog, despite me being very close to it, probably 2 days for my grandma, and probably not long enough for my grandad seeing as I still get tearful when I think about his death. Could that be a partial cause, despite the first family death being 2 years ago?

For some reason, I find myself dependent on other people. I get depressed when I don't have people around, especially if I know they're not in town. For example, my boyfriend has been at his parents since Saturday and I started getting horribly depressed today (hence why I'm posting here). Is that normal for depression, or is it just an effect of how I live right now? I hate being dependent on other people, it's not something I've been like in the past.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42439
   Posted 6/6/2011 2:48 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Clockwork,

That is so strange. I had to put my dog down Tuesday of last week. She was 15. I cried for two days straight. Sometimes crying is cleansing and is healthy for us. But being sad all of the time isn't healthy. Actually your grandmother's death isn't that long ago. It could still be effecting you to some extent. Plus the loss of your dog and other things combined. Probably is all adding up to too much on your plate.

I think it is cool that you are into journalism. That takes a lot of guts. To do research and ask questions, and trying to come up with a good story. That is so exciting sounding. I bet you love the thrill of it when you are feeling good. And you already have the job under your belt. You are so lucky, but it probably took more than luck to get into your postition. Probably a lot of hard work. And I want to see you succeed at this.

I take a mood stabilizer, it helps with obsessive thinking. I don't know if you have that or not. But also if you do, you may not need a mood stabilizer, you can combat it with cbt (cognative behavior therapy). There is a good book on that called Feeling Good by dr. David Burns. If you google it, you will most likely find it on amazon cheap. By reading that, it might help you. But if you can get into counseling or therapy, it would really benifit you. I think you have a lot of potential. And I think with a little direction, you will go far.

I wish you great success with the journalism field. Keep posting, know that we all care about you. The forum has been slow today, there are usually many more posts.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

clockwork_monkey
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2011
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 6/7/2011 7:46 AM (GMT -6)   
I did some research and I found a website that offers step by step CBT videos for free. I've started them now, and they're really helping me figure out why I'm so down. I'm just thinking too much about negative things and worrying about stuff.

I'm so relieved I may actually have found a way to help myself without needing to take pills or forking out loads of cash for a psychiatrist.

Thanks for recommending CBT to me, I'm confident it'll help!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42439
   Posted 6/7/2011 9:21 AM (GMT -6)   
I hope that this works for you. I think it will. You have the inspiration to get better and a good additude. I don't think I spelled that right. But it really helps when you are ready and willing to try. And I feel you are.

Best of luck with the cbt. Let us know how it goes.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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