I had to edit your post for content. We don't use profanity here. So please don't do it anymore. Please read forum rules too before posting anymore. How old are you? You said you were in fourth grade last year??? You need to be 13 to post on this forum. Maybe you are from another country and the grades are different than here. I don't know.
I think you should go to some counseling. You are looking for a father figure and it could lead to some trouble if you are volnerable. And it sounds like you are. And it sounds like you are a little confuesd, as you said you want to be normal and you don't want to be normal. I think you are searching for something but other than a father figure, I don't know what. Maybe just to be loved. We all want that. That is normal. Do talk to a counselor about this.
I missread your post. You said you want to be normal, but you didn't want to be perfect. That makes much more sense to me now.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies