Hello, I am 28yrs old female, with a 4yr old daughter...about
a year ago I went out to take my daughter on a trip...and I felt people staring at me, I paid it no mind...the very next day i took her out again this time with my neice that is 9yrs old, we took the train to go to the city...I noticed stares again, I overheard ppl making comments about
a fishy smell...I look at faces and all I got were looks of disgust....I immediately got off at the next stop, pulled my neice to the side and asked if she smelled anything...she said yes! I asked what she smelled and she said fish!.....I went home immediate to take care of myself...I was soooooo upset and embarrassed since I never experienced something like that. As a female you get an odor you would naturally go to the doctor...I DID..I had no insurance at the time so I went to the er....my results came back negative and the emergency rm dr told me she didnt smell anything!....Long story short..everywhere I went someone commented about
me smelling like fish, but my family, friends I confided in said they never smelled anything....so i'm confused why is it everywhere i go I'm hearing this on the train, at the store, walking on the street it was just everywhere and I was soooo embarrassed I kept going back to the doctors and when one didnt give me an answer I just found another one (by this time I got insurance).......and they all said the same things....there's nothing wrong!...because of this issue I began to isolate myself, I was very angry because no one else (my family & friends) didnt smell it....I was embarrassed because who wants to be known for smelling of FISH!! and ppl are so judgemental nowadays on a female ppl automatically assume its coming from downstairs, I became VERY paranoid, I just felt everyone was talking about
me, so I pretty went into a shell, never left my house, I would have anxiety attacks around people. I AM VERY UNCOMFORTABLE AROUND PEOPLE NOW....this whole ordeal just seem to come out of nowhere....my life is basically at a stand still,I'm affraid to do anything that I once enjoyed, working, going out, hanging out with friends because I hate feeling uncomfortable.
Honestly at one point I did state that if I have to live like this I dont want to live at all, it feels like my whole life has been taken away from me, and if I can't help myself how can I help my daugther, I was affraid to take her to school (my mom does it), can't take her to the store to get snacks, its summer she loves to go to the park...I want to do so much but I can't....I have wonderful friends and they prayed for me and thought me how to pray and have faith that these thoughts and feelings would go away.....
For the past three week I have actually been feeling better! taking risk trying to go out but its still a fight with myself, the fear is still there...I'm not free as I use to be....my mom suffers with mental diesease for the past 26yrs, and i'm 28....I dont want to put my daughter thru what I went thru....I'm confused because somedays its really hard and I feel like theres no hope..and then the next day i'm ok...I dont know if i should seek professional help...but i'm soooo scared of being labelled being held for observation like i'm a lab rat...it scares me but I want nothing more than to get better....I'm trying so hard to do this on my own....but my life and dream are disappearing because I cant shake this...any advice what should I do??? open for suggestions...I dont mind seeking therapy just terrified of being admitted to a hospital!