Not sure what to do??

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TanyaBless
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2011
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 6/19/2011 1:03 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello, I am 28yrs old female, with a 4yr old daughter...about a year ago I went out to take my daughter on a trip...and I felt people staring at me, I paid it no mind...the very next day i took her out again this time with my neice that is 9yrs old, we took the train to go to the city...I noticed stares again, I overheard ppl making comments about a fishy smell...I look at faces and all I got were looks of disgust....I immediately got off at the next stop, pulled my neice to the side and asked if she smelled anything...she said yes! I asked what she smelled and she said fish!.....I went home immediate to take care of myself...I was soooooo upset and embarrassed since I never experienced something like that. As a female you get an odor you would naturally go to the doctor...I DID..I had no insurance at the time so I went to the er....my results came back negative and the emergency rm dr told me she didnt smell anything!....Long story short..everywhere I went someone commented about me smelling like fish, but my family, friends I confided in said they never smelled anything....so i'm confused why is it everywhere i go I'm hearing this on the train, at the store, walking on the street it was just everywhere and I was soooo embarrassed I kept going back to the doctors and when one didnt give me an answer I just found another one (by this time I got insurance).......and they all said the same things....there's nothing wrong!...because of this issue I began to isolate myself, I was very angry because no one else (my family & friends) didnt smell it....I was embarrassed because who wants to be known for smelling of FISH!! and ppl are so judgemental nowadays on a female ppl automatically assume its coming from downstairs, I became VERY paranoid, I just felt everyone was talking about me, so I pretty went into a shell, never left my house, I would have anxiety attacks around people. I AM VERY UNCOMFORTABLE AROUND PEOPLE NOW....this whole ordeal just seem to come out of nowhere....my life is basically at a stand still,I'm affraid to do anything that I once enjoyed, working, going out, hanging out with friends because I hate feeling uncomfortable.
 
Honestly at one point I did state that if I have to live like this I dont want to live at all, it feels like my whole life has been taken away from me, and if I can't help myself how can I help my daugther, I was affraid to take her to school (my mom does it), can't take her to the store to get snacks, its summer she loves to go to the park...I want to do so much but I can't....I have wonderful friends and they prayed for me and thought me how to pray and have faith that these thoughts and feelings would go away.....
 
For the past three week I have actually been feeling better! taking risk trying to go out but its still a fight with myself, the fear is still there...I'm not free as I use to be....my mom suffers with mental diesease for the past 26yrs, and i'm 28....I dont want to put my daughter thru what I went thru....I'm confused because somedays its really hard and I feel like theres no hope..and then the next day i'm ok...I dont know if i should seek professional help...but i'm soooo scared of being labelled being held for observation like i'm a lab rat...it scares me but I want nothing more than to get better....I'm trying so hard to do this on my own....but my life and dream are disappearing because I cant shake this...any advice what should I do??? open for suggestions...I dont mind seeking therapy just terrified of being admitted to a hospital!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42435
   Posted 6/19/2011 8:06 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi there and welcome to the forum. I doubt that you are going to be admitteed to a hospital. But I do think counseling would get you out of your shell. I don't know about the incident, but it sounds like you are anormal person. Just a little insecurity because of what the people said. If you went to the doctor and nothing was found, I am sure you are okay in that respect. But I think some cbt counseling would help you get your confidence back.

I am sure that you don't smell like fish. Maybe them ladies were just talking trash and your niece heard it. It sounds like you are a very nice person. And I want to see you feel better.

Please think about the counseling.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9664
   Posted 6/19/2011 8:58 AM (GMT -6)   
Wow, it was truly rude of those people to do that to you...

I do believe some counseling like, getting by/Karen said might help you get
back into life and that being isolated will only make your depression worse

Well wishes to you and I hope you'll keep us posted as to how things are going...
**********************************************
* So many dx's I could write a book* "It would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...
********>^..^<********>^..^<*******

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42435
   Posted 6/19/2011 7:11 PM (GMT -6)   
Tanya,

I deleted your other post as it was identicle to this one. Please no duplicate posts.

Thanks for understanding.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

TanyaBless
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2011
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 6/24/2011 2:23 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello, Thanks for your welcome!!... I am actually happy to say I took the 1st steps on Wednesday and asked my primary doctor for help....he referred me to a phycologist which my 1st appointment will be July 5th...very excited I am taking this steps...
Just want to say thanks again for all the tips and helpful advice here on healing well really helped me!! will keep everyone posted!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42435
   Posted 6/24/2011 2:57 PM (GMT -6)   
Tanya,

I am so happy for you. You are beginning your healing journey. I am glad that you are excited about it. I saw a psychologist before and am seeing one now. They are very good at counseling. I really am happy to read this.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

TanyaBless
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2011
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 6/25/2011 6:54 PM (GMT -6)   
Karen, Thanks again and I would just like to tell you that what you guys are doing here at healing well is truly amazing and has inspired me to want to help others....I wish I knew about this site when I was really at rock bottom because all I wanted was someone to talk to and not feel judged!, but either way this forum is helping me to get the help I need so I can help and encourage others!....God Bless you and the team here!!

Tanya:-)

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20186
   Posted 6/25/2011 10:24 PM (GMT -6)   
YAY TO ALL. JAMIE.

replied on another thread. what i mntioned you are doing, so yay!!! jamie
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42435
   Posted 6/26/2011 5:43 AM (GMT -6)   
Tanya,

I am so happy for you. Fingers aren't working yet. Have a great day!!!

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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