This was written by a friend of mine.
I TOO HAVE BEEN THERE
I too have been to the edge
Looking down, into the bottomless black pit.
Balancing, swaying like a puppet on a string.
It all seems so much easier somehow-to let yourself fall,
Put an end to it – surrender.
The feeling seduces you into the darkness, it’s comforting (the darkness), it’s quiet, peaceful-
a definite change from all the noise that you can’t stop in your head sometimes, well all the time.
What stops you from letting go and falling?
It’s an end to all this pain and confusion, of always feeling hopelessly lost!
Why do you hesitate, what pulls you back from the crumbling edge?
Is it that small desperate hope inside your head, a hope so small and hidden that is almost unperceivable.
Is it a hope that someone cares enough to share your pain, or is it the last ounce of faith in people you have left?
Have you buried it so deep to protect it, shelter it- hide it from destruction- is that what keeps you from falling into the pit, from letting go- giving up finally, once and for all?
Life is a battle everyday standing on the crumbling edge
Some rare days there is a fresh breeze that lightens your burdens and lures you away from the edge- so nice for a short time.
But then the dark creeps closer and back on the edge you stand again.
Breezes don’t last long-you can’t let them. They move you too much, your feet lose their footing and you feel unsafe, scared. On the edge at least you know what you are looking at – nothing! No expectations, no dreams to be shattered again, no disappointments.
Too many unknowns away from the edge, you feel vulnerable, like everyone can see the damaged soul you have, is it that apparent? God you used to be so strong and full of life – how did you get here?
You can blame other people – the awful things they have done, they will have to answer one day for their evil.
It is true they may have tried to destroy you, crush your very life force- but it is you that allowed them to win.
You can absorb the evil and let it eat you from the inside out, or you can purge yourself of it – refuse to be their victim.
Fight back with every fibre of your being, because you know the truth, the voices may have drowned it out, but you know in your soul the real truth - FIGHT FOR IT !
Do not let them be victorious in destroying you- giving them the ultimate satisfaction.
This is your life, they have no power over it.
YOU control it- only you can step back from the edge and reclaim what is rightfully yours.
It is not done lightly, and it takes strength
You have the strength, never doubt it!
If you didn’t have the strength you would have plummeted into the dark void long ago- but you have been holding on , grasping to the smallest hope of prayers unanswered.
You are not alone, others have been there,
They understand the journey and the dark place you go to for peace when it all seems too hard.
You need to reach out and not fight alone-
Be not afraid to admit your vulnerability
People that have stood by you will protect you - they already have been. You just need to look for them and reach out.
No one can pull you away from the edge
You have to let go first.
It is you that has the power to turn your back on the past and all the scars that have etched themselves into your soul- they will heal in time
True maybe a long time but it can happen –
In this you must believe with all your heart.