feeling like a bad mom

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Cookymommy
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 6/26/2011 8:58 AM (GMT -6)   
I have been recently diagnosed with depression and mild social anxiety on Tuesday. I was given counseling and Prozac to help since they think its mostly a chemical imbalance. This is the 4th day I have taken the Prozac and I know its not in my system yet or anything but the problem is everything my 2yr old son does pisses me off, he cries and I want to yell at him to shut up, I don't but I want to, when he woke up early this morning I was tired but I gave him some cereal to eat and he threw it on the ground and all I wanted to do was throw him, I didn't but I wanted to. Is this an issue that will go away with time or should I call my doc? Its worrying me cuz I don't want to hurt my baby, I love him and want the best life for him and that is why I got on the meds. but I don't want to be a bad mom on the meds too.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 6/26/2011 9:05 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Cookymommy,

Welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum. This might just be something that you are going through as the meds and your body get use to eachother. But if you are worried about hurting your little one, I would call the doc just to be on the safe side. It is Sunday here so I don't know if you will get ahold of him, but I would try. You may be in need of a mood stabilizer. Especially if your patience is being tried by the little one. I know you love him and he means the world to you, but when we are depressed we have no patience. Keep posting, it may help you to talk to somebody.

Take care, I hope that you feel better soon.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Cookymommy
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 6/26/2011 9:17 AM (GMT -6)   
Its sunday here too but I can call the doc for advice 24/7. I really do love him its just hard when I have no patience and it seems like noone understands enough to help me out. My husband is deployed so I'm staying with my mom for a little while til this all gets better and/or my husband comes back. Part of the stress and depression is my husband gone but that has only made it worse, its not the causing factor. I just dont know how to ask for help from my step-dad and mom either. I just feel like I'm alone here and lost. I know I'm not alone with depression and these feelings but I dont want to go to the ER and be locked up cuz i feel like I want to hurt my son, I dont want to but I feel that way and I know its wrong. I didnt feel like this before but this is the only side effect I knew I couldnt handle but the doc said in her 12yrs of seeing depressed patients she has never seen anyone get the feelings of suicide or hurting others. I have always had something wrong with meds tho, i have never been able to take Birth control cuz im either allergic or it doesnt work (i got pregnant while on the depo-shot). Im trying to be the best mom and person i can be but i dont know what to do anymore.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 6/26/2011 10:46 AM (GMT -6)   
Take some deep breaths. In through the nose and out through the mouth. Be expecting the little things, like knocking the cereal on the floor. He is just a baby and doesn't know any better. Try to be patient. I know that you can do it. Look at it as just a part of a job that you are doing. You will get through this and you will be a good mom. I know that, or else you wouldn't be worried about it. Keep your cool. Relax and enjoy as much as you can.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 6/26/2011 10:17 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Cookymommy: Welcome to Healing Well. First, let me start off by saying that I am a mom (single-mom) too. I have 2 girls nearly 16 and 12. Let me start off by saying that you are DEFINITELY NOT the first mom to be having these impatient and awful feelings. When my children were much younger (and even still sometimes now) I just wanted to scream and I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin from the stress. But like you, I knew that these feelings were wrong and never acted on them. I suffer from Major Depression and Anxiety so I understand how overwhelming those feelings can sometimes get. For me, I have been taking medication. This was a personal choice for me and I found how much it took the edge off. Also, try to find ANYTHING to distract you from your thoughts or feelings. Take out your child's stroller and take him/her for a walk. Put on some music and dance to it. Or you mentioned that you have your mom and step-father. Maybe take a 1/2 hour to yourself here and there. Just keep taking deep breaths and remind yourself that your baby is a baby. Tell yourself the medicine will eventually kick in and help.

However, if you do find yourself in the scary position where you might not be able to control these feelings, give your children to your mom and get help immediately.

Keep posting here too. You are not alone. I can't tell you how many other mothers I have spoken with over the years that have said many of the same things you did. I am certainly not trivializing how you are feeling........but I want you to know that we care as we have been there.

Cass

Cookymommy
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 6/26/2011 10:21 PM (GMT -6)   
thank you so much Cass, that really helps knowing im not the only mom that has the feelings. its hard to talk to anyone about it but that is why im getting the help i know i need. im still young myself and havent learned to be a wife let alone a mom, but it is still the most rewarding thing i have ever done. thanks for the positivity and tips.

Living Well
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 1276
   Posted 6/26/2011 11:19 PM (GMT -6)   
Cookymommy said...
the doc said in her 12yrs of seeing depressed patients she has never seen anyone get the feelings of suicide or hurting others. I have always had something wrong with meds tho, i have never been able to take Birth control cuz im either allergic or it doesnt work (i got pregnant while on the depo-shot). Im trying to be the best mom and person i can be but i dont know what to do anymore.

Change doctors.
If this doc hasn't seen suicidality or aggressiveness in anyone taking SSRI's she may not be a doctor any of her patients can confide in. And what would it matter if you were the very first anyway??? She is meant to treat what she sees - not compare you to others!
I also fell pregnant on the depo-shot and really struggled with being a mum. I also have had heaps of sensitivity to a wide range of medications. SSRI's work a treat for many people but can be very dangerous for people with complex issues or metabolisms. They sent me over the edge too. Yes, parenting a 2 year old is very demanding... You do need to get a safety plan in place that you know you will follow, when the anger gets too intense. This isn't a cop out, it is about facing reality and making sure that you ensure your and your son's safety. I did go to the ER one night and they were brilliant... they took him to another area in the hospital where I couldn't hear him screaming and although I didn't manage to sleep I did get some rest. The nurse explained to me she had a supportive husband and family, with no mental illness and she at times had felt so exasperated that she felt like hurting her kids. I didn't get judged at all. I certainly didn't get locked up. I got supported, my experience normalised and got some time out. My son is now 14, deep voice, hairy legs and towers over me. You would have heard it a million times, but it DOES get easier... just make safety plans for this tough time. The storm will pass. Hugs, LW
PS. Agomelatine and Seroquel has worked a treat for me. While I am bipolar I also have PTSD - and so I need antidepressant to treat the PTSD. Efexor XR is also good for people who have bad reactions to SSRI's... I can metabolise Tegretol in minimal amounts. I'm about 21 years ahead of you in running the med gauntlet and they are the only meds I have trialled not reacted to. Everyone is so very different. I have brain sensitivity as well as liver metabolism issues. (my 3a4 pathway is stuffed). I'm only throwing this stuff at you IF you happen to hit a brick wall in your progress. Sensitivity and toxicity issues are not frequent and not well dealt with on the whole. Very Best in finding your most effective route to wellness. Big hugs.

Post Edited (living well) : 6/26/2011 10:39:15 PM (GMT-6)

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