Hi, I am Cassy and I am new to this forum...

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Cassy MJ
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2011
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 6/27/2011 9:26 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello darlings,

I just signed up about 10 minutes ago... No idea what I'm doing. And I have no idea what to say. I guess I'll just say everything.

My name's Cassy, I'm 15 years old. My dad's an alcoholic. Being a teenager, I feel like my mom expects way too much of me and is super judgemental, and I can't stand talking to either of them and my grades are never good.

I hate everything about myself.
I always have. I hate my laugh, my cry, my smile, my frown, the way that I walk, the way that I talk... And I hate the way that I look.

The first time I starved myself was in eighth grade, and it didn't last long at all, and afterwards I thought nothing of it. But I started again sometime in the middle of freshman year, which I just ended. My friends have noticed. They ask me why I'm not eating and all else that applies. And I constantly lied to everyone. "I'm not hungry; I ate before I left."

I'd always wanted to tell someone, but I never knew who to talk to, considering how much I love attention, and how much I hate that about myself. So I told my brother, who lived with his dad in Oklahoma at the time. I promised him that I'd stop starving myself and be promised me that he wouldn't tell anyone. But, being little lying me, I still didn't eat. I learned to love the dizziness, headaches and lying.

So right now, a long time later, my brother lives with us. I decided to keep eating again, but now I can never stop eating and it's disgusting. I'm also in summer school but I'm not sure if my grades have anything to do with anorexia, or if I should have mentioned them at all.

Well, I hope you enjoyed my story. It was nice to get all of this out.
Love, Cassy.




Hi Cassy, I gave your post a title...

Post Edited (Cassy MJ) : 6/29/2011 12:07:20 AM (GMT-6)


theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 6/28/2011 2:17 AM (GMT -6)   
oh cassy, have you thought about some specialised counselling? welcome to the forum our new mwmber. i am sure that people with more detailed info will come on and post soon. sending your much healing compassion. this is a safe and caring community; and you have been brave coming on, so well done. take care of you, you are what maters. jamie
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42439
   Posted 6/28/2011 5:09 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi there Cassy,

I agree with Jamie on the counseling. You will learn to stop hating yourself and everything about yourself. You are worthy of love just like everybody else. And you shouldn't cheat yourself out of that. I hope that you consider counseling. It really does help.

Keep posting and let us know how you are doing. We really do care.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Geosojda
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 262
   Posted 6/28/2011 6:08 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi cassy,

Welcome to HW, glad you decided to post. Self esteem issues, in my opinion, are one of the hardest things to deal with, i have low self esteem and its something i struggle with everyday. It may take someone on the outside to help you learn to love yourself, do you have a school counseler you can talk to about whats going on? Thats usually a good place to start. Although, i'm not sure who is at the school during summer school, but please do let someone know you can help you. Its a very tough thing to finally let these feelings out, but it is the first step to helping you get better.
When the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

with your past and your future precisely divided, Am I at that moment?. . I haven't decided.
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