I'm new to this site, and new to taking anti depressants also. I just took my 1st (sample from dr.) dose of 30mg of Cymbalta. I hope this worksm and hope I dont have some of the awful side effects I've been reading about. I've done ALOT of research on these meds, and they ALL seem to have some people say positive, others are negative. My dr. initially gave me a rx for Lexapro...which I never filled. I am too scared since everything I read, and anyone I know who has taken this drug has NOT liked it at all and said it made things worse.
I never thought I was someone depressed. I've had a somewhat stressful life overall....married at 18, (still together and I am 33). I love my husband and kids so much. I'm just feeling overwhelmed and "not right" lately. I work a full time stressful job at a large company. It used to be that my husband was the main "bread-winner", now it changed and I actually bring home more. The stress is overwhelming.
Here's the thing...I dont know whats wrong w me!! I had a pain killer "addiction" for about 2 years...taking heavy doses of oxycodone (anywhere from 120mgs to possibly more a day). I came off the pain meds as they were obviously becoming a habit that I couldn't deal w in my life. And the weird part is-no one (not family, not coworkers) would have imagined I was on the oxys!! I never acted like I was "on something"....it just helped me maintain the energy I needed. After I came off the pain meds, I never felt the same. The w'd symptoms ended w the help of suboxone. But I haven't felt "myself" ever since....it's been about 6 months.
I need to feel better. I feel so tired and worn ALL the time. I don't want to get dressed (besides work because I HAVE to). No activites, parties, events) nothing excites me. I dread everything. I have no libido, I feel generall just "depressed"!! How did I get like this? When I was 22-29 i felt "ALIVE"!! I always considered myself to be somewhat "attractive" meticulous about my clothes, hair, makeup, tanning, nails....now I don't want to get dressed! I come home from work- pajamas go on...I look like hell! I feel disgusting (which could be affecting my libido also). I feel scared I will lose my husband if I don't straighten my life out. He also was addicted to pain killers, but has gone off as well. He has continued to take the suboxone-I don't know, maybe that helps him. He's a cop, and he goes to the gym, works, I dont know why he always has energy, and I'm struggling with being alive every day.
Please if anyone has experienced anything like this, or just have an overwhelming feeling of sadness, lost of interest, total lack of energy...PLEASE tell me what has helped you. I want to go down the shore on the weekends w my kids, I want to go tanning, take care of myself, go shopping, have nights out w my husband. I DONT want to be like THIS!!!! I feel like everyone around me is happy, and I am not. What is wrong w me???!!! So sorry for the long post- I suppose I'm venting, because I don't like to tell the Dr. even whats truly going on- I don't like to feel like the "nutcase" and always want to present myself as the "appropriate business woman". Deep down, I am a mess!
Please ANYONE tell me what has worked. My main concern is weight gain....if these meds made me gain weight, I'll be more depressed than ever. It seems Cymbalta & Wellbutrin (from what I've read) have the least side effects of "weight gain"...although for some I'm sure that's not true. Ok...I'm gonna peel myself off my couch now & try to maintain some type of a life. I have a 4th of July BBQ to go to later today, and I'm dreading it more than life itself! Someone please respond if you've ever felt the same- please let me know what has helped you.