What is the definition of True Happiness anyways...

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Kiddiekakes
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 60
   Posted 7/15/2011 10:34 AM (GMT -6)   
I am not new to the forums but I can't remember if I have posted in this forum or not....LOL
 
 
I am 42 years old...A Stay at Home Mom of 2 beautiful children..boy 10 and girl 8...I am married almost 12 years to a man I love and adore..I have a nice house...Hubby has a decent job...we have no financial security for the future because like alot of people, we too took a hit 3 years ago when the markets collapsed around the world.We lost about $50,000 of finanical security invested for the future...We owe $270,000 on our mortgage (Some of which was consolidated to cover debt) and feels like an eternity before it will ever be paid off.Hubby has Lupus and has a had a bad year and a half with health..don't know if he will ever be healthy again and that scares me for the financial security of me and my children.
 
But here is the thing....I just can't get over the fact that life is passing me/us by....I can't remember when I can honestly say that life is bringing me "True Joy"...We struggle health wise,financial,emotional and everything else and I am plain getting tired of fighting to try and be happy all the time...I just can't do it...
 
Where is the silver lining for life?It may just be a Pity party but I struggle everyday trying to find the true meaning of happiness..I love my children desperately and would go to the ends of the earth to make them happy and see that they grow up to be good adults ...and I do love my husband but the thought of going through life with a chronically ill spouse makes me angry,anxious,sad,lonely,tired,resentful,envious,jealous and much more...
 
Just looking for direction....where did you find it?
 
 
 

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42430
   Posted 7/15/2011 11:06 AM (GMT -6)   
Maybe counseling would help you. We have to focus on the good things, but I know that the not so good things get in the way. I try to take life one day at a time. Notice the small things that make me happy. I feel as long as I am contented (which I am), I am happy. But I am not facing the things that you are facing.

A lot of people lost a lot of money when the stock market crashed. Many hardships have become of it. Mortgages are outragous now. There is always something, but I think that there always will be and if we can come out of it okay, we are doing the best that we can. I am sorry for your loss and hardships. I think it is perfectly normal for you to feel the way that you do. But it can be better with some professional help. Help with the anxiety of uncertain times. Please do think about it.

I hope that you feel better soon. Know that we all know where you are coming from. We care about you.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

awty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 790
   Posted 7/15/2011 12:07 PM (GMT -6)   
I

Post Edited (awty) : 7/16/2011 6:13:38 AM (GMT-6)


BrianJ (bne)
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2003
Total Posts : 198
   Posted 7/16/2011 3:22 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Kiddiekakes,

"pity party"

- term over-used by chronically well-adjusted, healthy, balanced, gregarious, confident, successful, strong, pain-free professional PITA's.

I've been where you are (on many occasions) and felt how you feel but I can tell you in my experience, things ALWAYS work out. I'm 51, separated with 3 kids living with their mother, and in 2008 I went on medical leave for stress. It was a debilitating Fibro flare compounded with a major depressive episode, separation anxiety from my kids (wife and I had just split after 31 years)... I went heavily into the bottle, started using cocaine and gambling. Within 16 months I racked up over $75K in debt from drugs and gambling. I lost nearly everything - couldn't afford food so took to pawning my 40 yr old bottle and coin collections, tools, electronics...etc..

I'm now over 28 months clean and sober, been back at work for 2 years, have money in the bank, a reliable car...

One of the very first steps I made to this recovery works wonderfully against depression and it's just what Karen said about the little things.

I would walk and consciously focus on my immediate surroundings - the colour of plants and trees....bird song blending with a sighing breeze through trees or tall grass.....I would take pics of insects as they went about their business....captured in mid-flight.....sunning on flower petals....

The small things are what make up everything - they're what matters...the world is full of wonderful things and moments....just look for them.

Where to find True Joy? All around us, all the time....ever sat watching a caterpillar crawl 6 feet? or seen the many faces of old trees? listened to a gurgling brook?.......when did you last just watch your children sleep?...

All around us....all for you! Happiness is where you are.

Take good care...

Brian
Finish each day and be done with it.
You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.


- Emerson

Depression, Fibromyalgia, Colitis, Tourettes, Bipolar, degenerative disc, sciatica, IBS, anxiety, RLS

It's Genetic
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 7/16/2011 9:06 PM (GMT -6)   
Happiness is a by-product of living well. I don't know of any other
place to find it than in taking a religious view of lilfe.

It's Genetic

Amz24
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 64
   Posted 7/19/2011 5:31 AM (GMT -6)   
I don't honestly remember what happiness is.
I can't remember the last time I was truly happy :(
"Sometimes The Cure Is Worse Than The Illness"

DX- Fibromyalgia, Severe Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder, Sero Negative Rheumatoid Arthritis, Anxiety, Migraines, Fibrocystic Breast Disease, Low Vitamin D, IBS.

Meds- Vitamin D 5000iu, Peppermint oil capsules x3, Buscopan x3, Co-codamol when needed.

Kiddiekakes
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 60
   Posted 7/19/2011 7:26 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks everyone..I appreciate the responses....Trying to take each day as it comes...

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42430
   Posted 7/19/2011 9:01 AM (GMT -6)   
That is the best, one day at a time. That is really all that we can do. I have to head to town before it gets too hot. Suppose to get up to 100 today. When will this ever end???

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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