I am glad you managed to do a bit of your lawn. Someimes doing something physically tiring can allow our bodies to rest and our minds too. I find when I'm really low that it's had to sleep as my head just wont shut up, doing something like mowing tires me out so I have to sleep.
I'm in hospital at the minute and those feelings that are far too familiar for my liking keep creeping up on me. I hate that I'm thinking like this, there's no real reason to be. I just can't seem to snap myself out of it. Yesterday I spent about 3 hours on the Wii, then went on the yoga ball then as a final act of deperation to stop my head feeling so fuzzy I took a walk around the whole perimeter of the hospital. Yet still I feel so bad. There seems to be no end. In the back of my head I have to keep trying to tell myself that this bout of depression is only temporary and that it always gets better, but I dunno, in the front of my mind is a stronger feeling of 'I just don't want to do this anymore, why wont it stop'.
I just wanted to let you know, that you aren't alone in this and there's always goign to be a time when things will be better, so try keeping hold of that thought. Sometimes life can be so easy and you feel like you're on top of the world and flying and so full of love and life. Then other days you can feel so empty and alone. It's a horrible feeling.
Hope you have a great vacation and that it allows you to unwind a bit.
Hey, I'm Gem with CF, age 25 and diagnosed at 2 years old. I'm from the UK and say weird things sometimes. I'm no expert but I've lived through a lot of CF stuff.
Diagnosed with: Cystic Fibrosis, Asthma, ABPA, Clinical Depression, Mild Liver Cirrohsis, Mild Osteopenia, Erythema Nodosum. Waiting for final diagnosis on Muscular Dystrophy type thing.