Just adding my 2 cents here. When I first realized I needed help, and now know that the depressions was years long, not days or months, I was told to try to find some positive in each day. Not to look for the whole day to be good but only bits here and there.
When I first started, it was really difficult to do so. I found I was still telling myself that the whole day would be good rather than look for little tiny things that were good in it. When something difficult came along, or I wanted to cry, I still felt like the whole day was a bad one. I started to keep a pocket journal and write down the positive things that happened that day as they occured rather than trying to recall from memory. When I would look at the journal before going to bed, I saw that there were more good things going on than I remembered.
Good luck in finding the answers you are looking for.
We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.