Paranoid? and depressed because my wife prefers her friend to me

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New Member

Date Joined Jul 2011
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 7/17/2011 9:08 PM (GMT -6)   
I feel like I'm emotionally starving.  My wife gives her best friend (female) the attention I need... but if I mention anything about it, she says I'm paranoid and just too needy.  Maybe I am, but I feel like she ignores me.  I don't know what to do.  I feel so alone in my own marriage.
Now, my 16 year old son wants to hang out at my wife's friend's house all the time and is never home to do anything with me.  I can't say anything about it... because I get made out to be the jealous bad guy.
How do I get over this?  I don't want to feel this way!

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 7/17/2011 9:39 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey NumbersMan,

Welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum. Maybe you should tag along and see what is so fun over there. Maybe you would end up going too. I couldn't hurt.

But I think the main thing is that you start doing your own things without your wife and kill some time that way. In relationships we often do our own things. Maybe if you made plans to do some fun things like camping, or bowling with the family that would keep you all together more. I don't know.

I don't have this problem because my husband and I both are working for the same things. We do a lot together, but we both have our own friends. If he is feeling left out, he sure doesnt say anything about it. I don't feel left out of what he does. I guess we are older too and we fall into a routine. We get up together and go to bed together, but during the day we are both busy.

I am sorry that she is treating you like you are jealous and insecure. I am sorry that she sounds like she gets defensive about it when you bring it up. You do have wants and needs and they need to be addressed. I hope that you two can work something out. Keep trying and see what happens.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9664
   Posted 7/18/2011 10:34 AM (GMT -6)   
Make a date with your wife and son and go out to a nice place, doesn't have to be fancy and eat
and maybe talk with them, as how things are going in their lives...and what types
of colleges that your son is thinking about attending...
It is wrong for your son to go over to this lady's house un supervised, I would be worried with that
type of situation as well...Your son needs interaction with young men his age, maybe send him to a camp,
a summer camp...just a suggestion
Make a date night with your wife and take her to a movie, maybe twice a week, just the two of you.
and most importantly seek out the help from a professional, such as a counselor to help over come
your can help and you don't always have to be prescribe medicines, but maybe think about
that and talk it over with a counselor...
well wishes to you and keep us posted as to how your doing...
* So many dx's I could write a book* "It would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...
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