Thanks to everyone who replied and to those who just read this post and understood how I felt. I am feeling a little better now but my circumstances havent changed much and so when reality hits again I know I will need help.
I also am a member who was gone and then returned. In 2001 I was ashbird65, but when I tried to come back I had to change it to just ashbird. They refer to me as a new member when Ive actually been around for a long time.
Anyway, thanks for the support! Its a comfort to know that I have this place to come to when I feel my world falling apart. I just wish more people here chatted in the chat rooms like they use to. I never see anyone there anymore.