Should I STAY or Should I GO.... Please help!

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Date Joined Jul 2011
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 7/21/2011 7:50 PM (GMT -6)   
Alright, Here goes... to make a long story short:

My boyfriend and I have been together for over two years now, for the most part our relationship has been good but I am struggling with some issues:

He is not as affectionate: Meaning he does not show how he feels about me well, except for sexually he is very good at expressing that. Like I will get text messages that says he wants to marry me etc.... sweet messages from time to time, not all of the time or as frequent as I like. But I question this because he has a funny way of showing it. I have talked to him about this, and the responses I have gotten are: I am a man boo I am not in to my emotions like you are, I have never been a person to show affection in my relationships...etc...etc or he says I will get better and never does. I mean is it that I expect too much? I give him countless attention, and affection in every way.

Trust Issues: A couple of times he has messed up, engaging in conversation, pics, messages with a couple of women. Just recently I found out he went to see his ex girlfriend, when he was supposed to be at work. We talked about it, nothing happened etc.. so he says... but yet sends her an email telling her he loved her etc.............I found out, and he cried, etc.. for the 1st time, I asked him does he feel that way he says no... etc etc.. so I decided to make up with him because of all that we have involved.

Its like I know he is capable of giving me what I want..... because he has showed it... .but somehow diminishes.. I don't understand....

I don't want to leave ... it complicated.... He has a daughter whom I adore n love, and we have a bond, I have a son and daughter who's real father is not in their life, and my currently boyfriend is basically their "DADDY" they adore him and he adores them....

I don't know what to do... I don't know if I should stay or should I go....... My heart says one thing... my mind says another....

This whole thing has made me depressed.......SO SAD!

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42211
   Posted 7/21/2011 8:09 PM (GMT -6)   
Basically you know that he isn't affectionate. You have to learn to accept that. And accept the fact that he did tell the other woman that he loved her. Even if he says he doesn't. Why would he say that. So if you can't live with that, I would leave before the kids get anymore attached to him. Look at it realistically. He isn't a romantic kind of guy. And if you need that kind of attention, I would find somebody who is. Though don't make it confusing for the children. They are use to him being around and I know that is why you are hesitant. But you need to be happy too.

I wish you the best in this situation.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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