I dont know what to do :( i have alot to live for but i feel like i jsut want to kill myself. ive been dealing with depression since i was 12 or 13. But it has worsened through out this year nd i feel like there is no one i can go to. I cant talk to my family. my family already has enough crap to deal with. and none of my friends help me. In fact i feel like i dont have a true friend. I have a bad smoking problem but through smoking i can escape sometimes. Im just so confused in my life i feel like no one cares. And no one can help me right now. Its been hard especially with my dads cancer and the fact that i lost my job. Im very lost right now. And every friend i have seems to be crapting over me. me nd my mom fight too nd sometimes i cant handle my angry. and i know my angry can push people away but ive been trying. I just dont know what to do. I dont want to hurt myself but it seems like i cant control how i feel or the fact that i just want to die.