Welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum. Get yourself into see a counselor. You can stop this before it gets worse. Please know that we aren't allowed to discuss suicide or self harm here. I didn't edit your post because you didn't talk about it a lot. And for smoking, I think you are talking about cigarettes, well, you should quit before it becomes an addiction. If it is about pot, well, we can't discuss that either.
I am sorry that your father has cancer. What kind does he have? That is a lot to deal with. Pleae keep posting and we will help you as much as possible.
Take care sweety, you have a lot to live for. Remember that.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies