I need help, im confused.

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New Member

Date Joined Jul 2011
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 7/24/2011 7:07 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm new here and hoping for good advice to my problem. Sorry for my bad English. Here's my issue:

I and my brother had a sexual encounter about few years ago. Since that time we've never talked about it. And for me it makes me sad, anxious, and guilty because it interferes my relation with him. I'm not able to be open with him. I don't know if he still remember, forgotten, or just ignoring what happened. What should I do? Should I remind what we did and reconcile? Or should I keep it to myself, try to forget, and try to move on?

I already forgive myself and him but never told him. I fear of possible negative reaction. I know I can't change the past and cannot blame him. I observed him and it seems like he's okay. Why I cant be like him? If I told him, he may be depressed like what I am going through and get mad. If I keep this to myself, sadness and regret may continue in my life. I don't know now.... My problem is like a dilemma.

Please tell me how should I fix this. I want to know the reasons on why should I tell him, and reasons why I should not tell him?

Thanks in advance.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42206
   Posted 7/24/2011 7:52 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi there,

Welcome to the forum. I honestly think you should seek counseling for this. I am sure that it is still bothering you. And the counselor would help you approach him and discuss it if that is what is needed. I am sorry that this has happened to you. And I can see your dilemma. Really and truly, counseling would help you. This isn't the end of the world, but it could be a problem for you if not adressed and worked on with professional help.

Try not to let it bother you, but yes, do something about how you are feeling. You two made a mistake, and we all do that. So don't feel ashamed of what happened, but talking to a couselor would help put it behind you.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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