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benta
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 7/28/2011 12:43 PM (GMT -6)   
I am depressed about an issue that I have.  This has come up before and I mostly always have worked it out.   I have no children and I am a widow.
I also have two brothers and their wives here in the same town with me.  Am I thinking on the right track that these two families should hel[ me when I have surgery.  I would just like to know what others think and would possibly like to hear about someone that is in my same situation.  This would be very helpful to me.  Thank you for any response that I gt. 

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42439
   Posted 7/28/2011 1:51 PM (GMT -6)   
Have you asked for their help? Try not to use the word "should" in your statement of thinking. I think the word would, and make it a question. Would or could you possibly help me out when I have surgery. What kind of surgery are you having and what kind of help are you going to need? Know that they aren't obligated just because they are your relatives. But it would be a nice jesture if they could possibly help you. They do have other things going on in their lives and maybe they don't have time. But if I were you, I would just ask. If you haven't already.

I hope that your surgery goes well.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen...

PS Welcome to HealingWell...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

benta
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 7/28/2011 6:03 PM (GMT -6)   
 I appreciate all of the responses to my post.  I think it has helped somewhat.  I do not at this time have a surgery scheduled, but in the past I have had to ask a friend for help.  Maybe I should phrase this another way.  My question really is this:  Don't they have a Christian responsibility to help their sister/sister-in-law.  Are you all Christian?   I am a Christian and it just seems to me that if they know that I am scheduled for surgery that someone would offer to help me at home after the surgery.  If any of you are Christian, would you please post an answer to this question.  Maybe I am confused about this...maybe I just need to continue with asking a friend to help.  I guess that I am afraid if I ask them that they will refuse me and then I will be very hurt.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42439
   Posted 7/28/2011 6:22 PM (GMT -6)   
We can't discuss religion on this forum. But it sounds to me you are afraid to ask for help. As I said before, just because they are family doesn't make them obligated to help you. But if you need help, ask for it. All they can say is "no". And then you deal with it another way. Maybe you should get a nurse to come in and help you while you are recouperating. What kind of surgery are you going to have? If you have a friend that you know will help you, why don't you just ask them and then you don't have all of this anxiety.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

benta
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 7/28/2011 6:45 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you for your reply.
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