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Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1257
   Posted 7/29/2011 8:58 PM (GMT -6)   
Ihaven't posted on the forum in probably a year. Things were going very well for me this past year. But now I am finding that I am extremely lonely. My son moved out last Sept. It was time for him to be on his own but I have really suffered learning how to live by myself. At first I was scared to be in the house by myself but I have mostly gotten over that. It is the quiet and the loneliness and no one to talk to at night that bother me so much. I also don't really have enough to do during the day. I have had several health issues so I haven't worked in a long time. I had major colon surgery 1 and 1/2 years ago and I am not the same as I was before. My energy is so low.
And finding a job is next to impossible, especially at my age. Everyone wants to hire young people and my skills are not too good anymore.
One of my good friends has abandoned me and I am feeling the loss. I guess she wasn't much of a friend. I take classes and do volunteer work but I still haven't met anyone who wants or needs to be a friend to me. I do have friends but some are married and not always available. I know all the things I can do to keep busy during the day but night is the worst for me. I just have hit a really low point and have been crying so much. I know I have to be grateful I have a roof over my head and food and can meet my expenses. But having companionship is something I need very badly. I do see my sons often but they have their own lives and can't always be taking care of me. They are here for me alot but what I just need are some new friends. It is hard to make friends when you are older.
I just wanted to write how I am feeling and wonder if anyone has any suggestions. I do go to church but it has not been a source for meeting people. Also, I don't drive much at night because I can't see well at night to drive. Thanks for listening.
 
Aurora

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20186
   Posted 7/29/2011 9:13 PM (GMT -6)   
welcome back my friend. things will turn around. have mised you. jamie

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42434
   Posted 7/29/2011 9:16 PM (GMT -6)   
Well Hello Aurora!!!

It is great to have you back on the forum. I am sorry that you are feeling so lonely. And you do seem to try to do a lot to keep busy. Do you do any knitting or chrochetting? Or any other types of crafts? Maybe you could join a knitting club or something like that. Or class. Just a thought.

I hope that you feel less lonely soon. I know how hard this is for you.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9664
   Posted 7/30/2011 4:57 AM (GMT -6)   
Aurora,
yes night time can be hard when your alone...and it's good your taking classes...
Do you have any favorte books or magazines that you could read thru.
www.monster.com is a job search site...just a thought...
I work at doing either my cross stitch or laundry at
night...or reading...many well wishes to you, keep us posted on how your doing, glad to see
you...
**********************************************
* So many dx's I could write a book* "It would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...
********>^..^<********>^..^<*******

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42434
   Posted 7/30/2011 7:48 AM (GMT -6)   
Miss Cranberry,

You did it again, writing such a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing with Aurora. And all of us. You write so well and it is a pleasure to read it.

I too get such pleasure with solitude. I am alone a lot and love it. But some of us really need the company of others. I am sure Aurora will find her nitch in life with what to do. But in the meantime, we try to bring her comfort. And I think your post was very comforting. Thank you again for visiting this forum. It is a pleasure to have you here.

Take care my friend.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 7/30/2011 8:03 AM (GMT -6)   
Aurora: Welcome back!! I have missed you very much!!!!!!!!! I am sorry to hear of your loneliness right now. We'll have to work on helping to fill that void.

(((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))

Cass

Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1257
   Posted 7/30/2011 9:04 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you all,Karen, Jamiee, Chartreux, Miss Cranberry and Cass for supporting me. I have missed my friends who always responded to me. It is nice to know you Miss Cranberry and I thank you for a very thoughtful and inspiring answer.
Karen, Jamiee, Chartreux and Cass, you know me well from before and you know how I have suffered from loneliness. I have been fighting this all summer and have been able to keep my head above water until last weekend. I was out with friends for dinner, one was a school friend I knew since we were 8 yrs old and I hadn't seen her or her husband in 30 years. They took us to a very upscale restaurant and I ended up getting very sick. I thought I was having a heart attack as my heart was just raciing and I was very nauseous. We went to the ER at a very large teaching hospital. They gave me an EKG right away and since it was normal I had to go and sit with all the others waiting to be seen. I called my son who came right away. I waited 3 hrs before I was able to see a dr. I sent my friends home and my son waitied with me until 2:30 AM when I sent him home. I had to be there to have an enzyme test repeated in the morning. It was normal and I was released the next afternoon. This was very hard on me as I felt I had ruined the evening for my friends and I was at a strange hospital, not my own. My older son stayed at my house with me for five nights and took me to my own dr. I think when he left to go back to his apartment is when it really hit me that I felt so lonely. Also, my dr. wants me to have an echocardiogram as I have a leaky heart valve. I am trying to put it out of my mind until the test but it does worry me as there is the risk that there is something wrong this time. I have had a number of serious health issues since I have been on the forum and I have managed to get better but now that I am older it is harder to get back to feeling good. I have never fully recovered from the last surgery but have accepted my limits and work within what I am able to do. I know this is getting wordy, I just wanted to explain what has been going on. I hope you will continue to answer my posts as what I truly need right now is support and friendship. Everyone on this forum has always been so kind and I am grateful for any replies or suggestions. Just need to know you are here.
Aurora

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42434
   Posted 7/30/2011 9:34 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Aurora,

I hope all goes well with the echocardiogram. Maybe it was anxiety. That often makes us feel like we are having a heart attack. Hoping this because it can be dealt with better than a bad heart.

It is so nice to see you back on the forum. I heard from another source that you lost your dog as I did this spring. I think that is what I heard. Have you thought about getting another one? I still have one, she is young so I hope to have her a long time. My other was 15, and boy do I miss her. It was so hard to have to take her to the vet and get her put to sleep. But she lived a long life and was so loved. Makes me want to cry again... So I will change the subject.

It is kind of funny because I asked this other person how you are (you know who it is) and then you posted on the forum. What a coincidence. Know I have been thinking of you. And I am so happy that you are here.

Take care my friend.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1257
   Posted 7/30/2011 10:21 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Karen,
I know who has been keeping you up on how I am doing. A good friend I have from the forum.
It is true that I lost my beloved poodle 2 months ago. He was sixteen and suffering so the boys and I took him to the vet to be put to sleep. This is something that has added to my loneliness as I don't have that precious baby to greet me when I come home. But I know I did the right thing to give him his peace. He gave me so many years of hapiness. At this point I am not considering getting another dog. I don't want to say never as things do change. I am taking a wait and see basis. I know a dog is a wonderful companion but I don't know if I have what it takes to start all over with a new dog.
I have a number of errands I must tend to this afternoon so I will be out of the house and I will be tired when I return. Sometimes just getting out of the house and seeing other people helps. I have asked my older son to go out to lunch tomorrow and that will be nice for me.
My one go to activity that always helped me is gone. All the Borders book stores have closed here. I used to go and browse and find something and sit in a cozy chair and sometimes read a whole book. I loved doing that and I suppose I can go to the library and browse and find a place to sit. I don't know if the library minds if I sit there for several hours. It is not the same but it is a thought. The other large chain book store is in a very crowded shopping mall and they do not have the nice seating arrangements that Borders had. But I will figure it out.
Thanks for keeping up with me. This is helping me a lot to have people reply to me and give me support. I have been without the HW support system for too long but now I will take advantage of posting and also seeing who I might be able to give support to.
 
Many hugs,
 
Aurora

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42434
   Posted 7/30/2011 12:10 PM (GMT -6)   
Aurora,

I have heard a lot of book stores are closing because people are using kindles and nooks. That is a shame. I like to have a book I can hold in my hand and be able to leaf back and forth and such. I think it is sad that bookstores are closing. I hope all of them don't. I am sorry that yours did, as it sounds like you enjoyed yourself there.

I was so sad when I had to put mine to sleep. But I, as you, know I did the right thing. But it was so hard. She was such a good companion for such a long time. I, like you, are waiting to see what happens. I still have one dog, but my dream dog is a black german shepherd. And I know where I could get one next summer. So that is a posiblility. Right now, I just couldn't do all the work raising a puppy. And my dog is still in puppy stage so I want to wait until she matures some. I still have her crates so I wont need that. My husband wanted me to sell them, but I don"t want to. Just incase, lol...

We really have missed you on the forum, and I am so glad that you feel up to posting. You always brighten up the place, you know... Though I know you are going through a rough time right now, things can get better. Do keep posting and let us know how things are going on.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20186
   Posted 7/30/2011 5:40 PM (GMT -6)   
here for you. jamie. sorry about the loss of your doggie. with much compassion, jamie
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1257
   Posted 7/30/2011 6:20 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you Karen & Jamiee for your kind thoughts. As you know it is always so difficult to have a precious pet put to sleep. But often it is the kindess thing we can do for our pets to relieve their suffering and let them have their peace. My little poodle was always at my side, always greeted me when I came home and woke me up in the morning with his wet nose. I miss him so much as I am sure you do yours, Karen, but I have come to terms with letting him go. I will have to think long and hard about getting another dog but not anytime soon.
 
Aurora

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42434
   Posted 7/31/2011 8:08 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Aurora,

Yea, just writing about her made me sad. It isw hard. But I will get over it in time, it only has been since may. Again, I am glad that you have poste. Know that we all stand behind you though everything. This is a good place to come. I am looking at my rosemary plant that I bought and see I have to put it in a bigger pot. Always somethign to keep me busy. But then it wont fit in my windowsill anymore. I enjoy it there. Maybe I will leave it. My mind is wandering. Not good.

Wishing you the very best day. How are your son's doing? Good I hope.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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