do i trust him or not????

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loz1953
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2011
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 7/30/2011 7:23 PM (GMT -6)   
hello ive never used this site be4. i dont really no where to start ?? i married my husband nearly 3 yrs ago, at this time i was in a full time job with my young son living at home, a few months after my husband got custody of his 2 sons. i went to part time then to help look after them then eventually gave up my job to work for my husband who is self employed and which meant i could pick and choose when i really needed to be at home. then things started to go wrong, my husband started treating me like rubbish, tellin me i was fat, wiping crows on me, i left i think 3 times and went to stay with my mum, hoping that something would wake him and he would realise wot he was doing, then just over 2 yrs ago my dad died suddenly, i felt he wasnt there for me he continued to belittle me, i was moarnin my dad, i started to think he was havin an affair, not with just anybody but a girl i grew up with who lived around the corner when i was younger, i didnt accuse i just watched, then we went away for the weekend and the 3 children. he belittled me again, i couldnt stand no more so i left him there, i packed mine and my sons clothes after he had gone the pub and left me feelin like i was on my own, and i just went, i txted him a sort while after telling him wot i had done, i felt bad but not as bad as how he made me feel, i didnt go back, 6 days later after stayin my mums i moved back to the marital home, he moved out, i still had in my head somethin was goin on with this girl, i confronted her, she told me it wasnt her fault that my marriage had broke down and she was only friends with my husband who she had known from when she was younger, i confronted him they both denyed it, i apologised it was the worst thing i have ever done in my life i found out a day or 2 later, wot i was feelin and thinkin was true. we split up 4 7 months, in that time he tried to come back 3 times, after each time i would see her and confront her and tell her, even to the extent of ringin him when she was there, anyway he came knockin on my door in october of last yr, sayin hed made the biggest mistake, i luv this man and i dont no why, since then ive tried to make it work, but i just cant get over wot he as done to me, when he was with this other woman he rubbed my nose in it so much, takin her the school where our children went etc, it was heart breakin. im still heart broken im up and down like a yo yo, since gettin back together in oct, i think weve split up ever month, its either him disrespectin me, or me not bein able cope, the last arguement was over stuffing gelieve it or not, i was decoratin and doin a sunday dinner, he went on some bike course the pub, when he got back dinner was nearly done and he started pickin at the stuffing i told him pack it in but he ate it all, so i did some more, served dinner and we all had this stupid stuffing, my husband asked me for a juice so i left the table to do them all a juice, i sat back down and didnt notice anythin until my husband said how nice the stuffin was, he had taken mine off my plate, i wasnt amused, i was lookin 4ward to my dinner, he had no respect for me, i started to cry, and he didnt no wot the fuss was, he ended up slidin his dinner and it all went up my blind, i started to cry more, id had enough, in told him i wasnt standing for it he kicked my cupboard door it fell off, he went, i was just so tired of this, it was my birthday on the friday i made arrangements to go out with friends and family, that day he was txtin me wantin take me out i told him no, im sick of gettin treated like that, after my birthday i had a couple of txts tellin me how he feels, then after 2 days i txted him back askin if he was ok, he was and asked if i was and he was missin me, i melted i dont no why i luv him, he came to my home then announced he had booked a wks holiday to spain with his son, hes gone today, i dont no if i should be angry or not, ive told him time and time again that i feel like im on my side of the fence and hes on the other, he says im goin mad??? i dont feel like i am, how do i react to somethin like this, i cant trust him when im with him let alone if he is in another country, could some one plzzzz give me some advice my mind is so mixed up i dont no wot is real or not 

Post Edited (loz1953) : 7/30/2011 6:56:50 PM (GMT-6)


loz1953
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2011
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 7/30/2011 8:48 PM (GMT -6)   
i love the man i met, he does show the good side of himself, im just that low and depressed that the bad things stick more than the good things, we dont have children together so i dont luv him for that reason. i feel like im stuck and all i can think about is how i think he had an affair, he denys it, he says they met 6 days after we split, i no how i felt and feel im bein lied to, he says he wants to make this work, he says he says things he doesnt mean when hes angry and frustrated because i wont let him in, how can i do that, hes betrayed me, i thought id met mr right, he burst my bubble, when he left the marital home he took most of my furniture so i have had to build things up again, now me and my son have a lovely little home again, my husband wants us to move home, how can i do that, give up my home to go and live with him to be left with nothing again, my life is just so full of fear im petrified, he took all of my dignity i dont no if i can let him take it again??? one minute i feel i can then i just get overcome with emotions and remember everything wots bad

Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9664
   Posted 8/1/2011 11:34 AM (GMT -6)   
I would suggests you seek out help from a counselor as you
need to work out your feelings for this man.
Wish I had some better advise to give, but do keep us posted we do care...
**********************************************
* So many dx's I could write a book* "It would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...
********>^..^<********>^..^<*******

sore42long
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 235
   Posted 8/1/2011 6:23 PM (GMT -6)   
hi,Loz I just read your post ,Iam going thur similar.I think going to a counselor is the best choice ,Iplan to do it myself ,it helps you understand yourself.Ihave chronic pain ,and depression is setting in ,thats why Iam on this section,today.Iam waiting for surgery and my whole live has been waiting for it not working at a job due to it! It's been such along wait and my friend roomate has been so over protective ,too the point of encouraging not to do stuff do to pain ,sometimes he is right ,but not trying has left me so bored ,depressed and losing the little self confindece Ido have .Iknow for myself the best is too make a plan for myself and stick to it .Iam still learning you must controll your life or your living someone else idea .The book '' Language of letting go'' was a good self help book ,take care

sore42long
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 235
   Posted 8/2/2011 2:26 PM (GMT -6)   
hi,Loz I just read your post ,Iam going thur similar.I think going to a counselor is the best choice ,Iplan to do it myself ,it helps you understand yourself.Ihave chronic pain ,and depression is setting in ,thats why Iam on this section,today.Iam waiting for surgery and my whole life has been waiting for it not working at a job due to it! It's been such along wait and my friend roomate has been so over protective ,too the point of encouraging not to do stuff do to pain ,sometimes he is right ,but not trying has left me so bored ,depressed and losing the little self confindece Ido have .Iknow for myself the best is too make a plan for myself and stick to it .Iam still learning you must controll your life or your living someone else idea .The book '' Language of letting go'' was a good self help book ,take care

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 8/2/2011 2:33 PM (GMT -6)   
HI Sor42long,

Thanks for the inspiring post and the self help book. I hope that your surgury goes well. Feel free to start a thread if you would like, so we can all get to know you.

Take care, wishing you a painfree day. I have fibromyalgia so I have chronic pain too.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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