hi, i havent been on here for a wee while. been really busy with other stuff. i have been really down lately. i mean, with nana and stuff. im 13 and i understand whats going on with her and all that, but i just cannot accept that its happening to her. the one i live for. i dont even know how to say how i feel. just really really sad. upset. hurt. angry and all that sorta stuff. i wanna run away and just forget about everything. but i cant. ive tried to think about other things, do other things to get my mind off nana but nothing is working and its getting me down!!!!! i wanna be strong for nana. but i cant. its too hard to handle.
my mates keep asking me whats wrong and if im ok. but because its been the holidays and they have just been texting me, i can just say im ok. but tomorrow school is starting again. i dont wanna go. but i have to.
school, thats another issue for me. ever since my ''cell'' experience, i am on a close eye with all the teachers. they are always sitting me down and asking me if im ok. its nice they care and everything but its really annoying! i find that with all the work that i get, its really hard for me to cope with it all. and to complete it is hard as well. homework especially. because i have something on every day after school, the only day i have free is a sunday. and i have to clean the house on that day.
lately, i have been really scared as well because my stepfather has been doing some things he should be doing privately right in front of me. because of what he has done to me before, i fear its going to happen again. i feel on edge all the time. i find it hard to get a good nights rest as well.