A year ago I had a full time job, I was healthy, we had 3 cars and lived in a modest home.
After having a "nervous breakdown" in November, I have lost my health, job, health insurance
, 2 cars, and soon my house. I went through counseling but now can no longer afford. I was on Citaloprim but again, no health insurance now.
What led up to the nervous breakdown was a few things. First, huge financial stresses. My husband "John" has a problem. We've been married a decade or so..He is terrible with money and doesn't take care of me at all. I was working full time at a rather stressful job for many years. He was always broke, bouncing checks, paying fees. I discovered he ran up over $20,000 a few years ago and refinanced our house to help take care of it. The mortgage was 55% of my take home pay..I said I can't do this for long, now that you've got those charges gone you need to help. I took on extra hours for awhile, but it was exhausting since I normally already worked 60 hours a week and have a disabled son to care for.
Well he got back into debt, somehow, almost $26,000 and was never able to help me with the mortgage. I made a mistake at work by forgetting to work an extra day I was assigned to work last summer, and there were some repercussions. I wasn't fired, but so ashamed. I kept working but one day, I started crying and couldn't stop. I called in sick at work, that was the first week of November. I did go to the doctor that very day, and they were thinking about
putting me in the hospital but instead did outpatient therapies through January.
This spring we had to declare bankruptcy
. I was getting nauseous and panicky even thinking of going to work at ANY job, even though I knew we were already in terrible financial straits and me not working exacerbated it. My car was repossessed. We'll be losing my house of many years, too.
I feel like I have nothing left inside for my husband. I blame him for so much. This is his second bankruptcy, he did it in his first marriage too. Now, I'm losing my house that I had long before I met him, and my car, but he gets to keep his car. Really fair.
My husband is a "nice man". He really is. But I feel like honestly he must not give a %&$ or he would have taken care of us. I can't even leave him, because where the heck would we go? I'm sure I'm making his life a living hell right now too with the crying, anger and depression
, but the main part of me doesn't care if he's miserable or not.
I AM working again...it's part time. I tried a job in April, but had a very bad experience with a co-worker there who was harassing me (a workplace bully). I have almost no capacity to handle heavy stress and found that hugely stressful and quit after 2 months. I got a different kind of job in June, but only bringing home about
$800 a month so we can't live on that. There's almost no stress though, and I might be getting more hours soon.
I just don't know what to do. We can't get into any apartments that I've found yet, because of the bankruptcy. I can't get health insurance at my job and my husband says he can't get me on his until next year and then it will be very expensive. I can't seem to get motivated to do much but listen to music and sit around.
Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 8/5/2011 4:24:59 PM (GMT-6)