My son was engaged to a girl he had dated for 4 yrs. The wedding was all planned. Things went horribly wrong and he ended up breaking up with her. She had very serious psychologic problems, one being severe bulimia which he couldn't put up with. For the past 2 yrs she has contacted him off and on but he has never answered her. She recently left him a voice mail saying she was in a program and part of her therapy was to make amends and apologize to those she had hurt. He listened to the message and told me about
it. I was very upset after their break up as she had treated him so badly. Today he tells me that he called her just to say he was glad for her apology. They talked for over an hour. She met someone else after him who she knew for about
a year and she is getting married in 2 weeks. She also told him that she is now living in the same city as he, about
4 blocks away from him. She told him she still loves him and not a day goes by that she doesn't still think about
him and misses him so much. I am so upset I can't focus on anything.
How can she marry another guy and still tell my son she loves him and thinks of him every day. My son says this does not bother him, he feels lucky he did not marry her. His problem is that he has dated a number of girls since but has not found a relationship and he feels he is very unlucky in love. He worries he will never find someone and he very much wants to settle down. I have told him that he may sound too needy but he assures me he doesn't act that way. I try to be encouraging but there isn't much I can do, only try to sympathize.
I thought this girl was out of our lives. When they were together she lived here but moved away when they broke up. All of a sudden she is back and with a new person. From what my son said is sounds like she is just settling for this guy. Also the program she went to was just a 3 day workshop. How can you solve your problems in 3 days.
I think if he asked her for another chance she would cancel her wedding to be with my son. I know she is very troubled. I wish she had never contacted my son but they know some of the same people and he thinks he would have found out and it would have been worse than having to find out directly from her.
My problem - why am I so upset about all this? I was so glad when he was finally over her. She hurt him terribly and it took him a long time to have the desire to date again. I feel so bad for him as he feels his friends all have relationships or at least girl friends. He tells me he thinks he is unattractive which is just the opposite. He is a true gentleman and very carying and all around a great guy. He owns a condo and has a successful career. This girl created such an upheaval in my life and now I feel it is starting all over for me. And probably for him too because I know she won't leave him alone, married or not. Please somebody give me some perspective on how I can manage my anger and my desire to call this girl up and rage at her. This is making me sick all over again.