Crippling morning depression

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evangelina88
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 99
   Posted 8/6/2011 8:06 AM (GMT -6)   
Good morning...I suffer from crippling morning depression. I wake up from four hours of sleep, if I'm lucky, and am literally ready to kill myself. On work days, I get myself going somehow...but weekends are a different story. I live alone and sometimes will not get out of bed the whole weekend. Sometimes I take benadryl for sleep, but it just makes me more depressed. I recently went through a divorce...just feel like such a failure in this life. I don't have any children. I volunteer at a homeless shelter to try and get out of myself. I need to find a therapist but feel immobilized by depression. Im taking lots of vitamins such as fish oil and inositol and they seem to help some. My heart is in such excruciating pain.

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 8/6/2011 9:14:42 AM (GMT-6)


stillme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 556
   Posted 8/6/2011 9:05 AM (GMT -6)   
I feel the same way. It is sooo hard to get up. I am literally crying the moment I wake up. I just went through a breakup. I am so in love but, " the fire is out", "my feelings have diminished", "I am emotionally unattached" are what the other person is saying. At times I feel like I can't go on.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42438
   Posted 8/6/2011 9:18 AM (GMT -6)   
It sounds like both of you need to find a therapist. They really do help. I find I am depressed in the mornings until I get my meds in me. Do either of you take any medications? Learn to be proactive with your help. Get the attention that you both need.

I think volunteering at a homeless shelter is so wonderful. I am sure it helps in a lot of ways. Continue this good work.

Take care of you ladies. I am only assuming that you are both ladies. If I am wrong, sorry.

Keep posting and know that we all care.

I had to edit your post evangelina88. We aren't allowed to discuss suicidal thoughts.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 8/6/2011 5:54 PM (GMT -6)   
therapy really helps me, as does medication. talk with your dr about finding a compassionate therapist that you can see you on a sliding fee scale. sending healing compassion to you. jamie
here for you.
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

evangelina88
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 99
   Posted 8/6/2011 6:58 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you so much for your responses. I am deeply appreciative. Yes...I really need to find a good therapist. A friend of mine recommended one who charges $150 per hour. Haha!! Who could afford that? I probably could benefit from meds . I used to take 37.5 mgs of effexor and it was unbelievably difficult to go off of... not to mention unpleasant side effects while on it. I am kind of in a tailspin because of divorce...relationships throughout my life will take me to this terribly dark place. Should I avoid them altogether? Has anyone ever heard of connection between excessive rem sleep and depression?

evangelina88
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 99
   Posted 8/6/2011 7:06 PM (GMT -6)   
I didn't see your message earlier Sue Tho. Yes that's exactly it. Wake up so very depressed...most of the time crying. I feel utterly hopeless until about 11am. After that I am ok...depressed but functioning. I would like to avoid meds... not sure if that's realistic...but have had bad experiences with meds and psychiatrists.

evangelina88
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 99
   Posted 8/11/2011 2:42 PM (GMT -6)   
Good question Sue... How to define moderate success... I still wake up very sad, but that gets better throughout day. I function at work. I have moments of hope and happiness. I can take care of my basic needs. I still have dark thoughts. I am lonely...but better off by myself than with a not nice person. Have had the tendency in the past to grovel for whatever meager crumbs some jerk wanted to throw my way.

evangelina88
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 99
   Posted 8/12/2011 6:48 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you for your encouraging post, Sue. It means a lot to me. Many times I feel like such a failure. I have to remember to let the blessings count. Good reminder about dark times being temporary. You are fortunate to have the support of a good psychiatrist and good partner. I am envious! Haha!! Sometimes I feel so alone in this world. I dont have any children and very little family...I have a few great friends...I am not so social anymore...have some social anxiety and feel so distrustful of people in general. Good idea regarding keeping track of emotions. I find that I am at my lowest the week before my period.
I hope you are having a great day.

Angie

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42438
   Posted 8/12/2011 7:53 PM (GMT -6)   
Always remember, you are not a failure. You are trying very hard and that is what matters. I am not real social anymore either. It takes everything I have to go and visit somebody. But I push myself a little beyond that comfort zone and go, and I am always glad that I did. I have very few friends that I spend time with.

Hoping that you are having a good day. Oh and pms, really the pits.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

evangelina88
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 99
   Posted 8/12/2011 11:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you, Karen.
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