It sounds like you have high anxiety. Why don't you ask about taking xanax. That can be taken as needed or can be taken on a daily basis as I take it. I take it though only if I need it. I could take three a day, but I usually take two. But it can be addictive so I don't know if your doctor will give it to you. But I would really stress how you have been feeling. You might need a medication adjustment.
I have always felt that living is the hard part. I don't go out much either. It is hard for me to just visit friends. So I know how you feel.
I am glad that you have a good therapist. I am sorry that he had to have surgery and you weren't able to see him for awhile. But you will see him soon and make sure you tell him everything that has been going on. Maybe write a list of things so you don't forget anything.
I think your friends death was a coincidence. And yes it is strange that it happened that way. Do try to stay in the moment and take life one day at a time. Worrying about dying isn't living. So put that out of your mind. You will go when it is your time.
Take care, stop worrying.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies