Finally have a chance to sit down for a minute at the computer. I have been using my cell to read the posts. It gets a little tedious trying to type a long message though. I responded to another post that depicts me perfectly. At first I was sad all day. Crying(sobbing) almost every 10 to 15 minutes it seemed. I tried to find a psychiatrist but no one has any
openings until September. I really don't think I can wait that long. Then about
3 days ago, as soon as I would
open my eyes I would start crying. Getting up is so hard. Then I experience the intermittent crying throughout the day and another total breakdown at night. I called the crisis center. The lady was nice and referred me to a center that she said is in my area. She said it was supposed to be a place that I could go. It wasn't however, just a man that talked to me. Both of them were helpful. Both of them expressed worry. By the time I talked to them I was completely desperate. I called doctors and centers and no one can see me. Either booked or for inpatients only. So of course that just puts me down even further. I feel like no body wants to help me. Yesterday after I had heard no so many times, I broke down with the receptionist on the phone. She was nice and called to get me some more numbers to call. I finally asked one of the centers what do you do if a person can't wait a whole month to be seen. She said go to the emergency room. I really wanted to go but I had so much to do. I read someones post somewhere that said the hospital stay was good. Then the response here said maybe a hospital visit is in order. The hardest think is trying to appear like everything is ok. I had to help with a party for my niece and tomorrow I am supposed to take my son to the beach for a few days. All I want to do is lay down and cry. Or sleep. I have been taking nortriptyline which was prescribed for my headaches and sleeplessness. The doctor said I can take up to 5 at a time so I do that. They do make me sleepy, but the grief is right there in the morning. It settles down a little through the day as I mentioned I just cry off and on, but by late evening, I'm down and out again. I know I need someone to help me. Which is why I started to search for online groups. Something has to help me while I wait until the middle of September for an appointment. I went ahead and made one. I hope I can make it. Maybe when we return from the beach, I can go to the hospital. I didn't know getting help was this difficult.