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New Member

Date Joined Jun 2011
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 8/7/2011 9:03 PM (GMT -6)   
I don't know how to cope with the feelings that I am having right now. I need to talk to someone, but the three people that I socialize with are all upset with me at the moment. I have no friends other than these three, therefore no one to talk to, so I guess I will try this forum.

First, some background info so you all know where this is stemming from:
I moved back to my small hometown in January, and have been having trouble readjusting. I have no friends left here; the three that I talk to are my sister and her two best friends. I had trouble finding a job when I moved back and am now in a state of financial trouble. I left my boyfriend over a year ago and have not gone on one single date, let alone been asked on one. I have also gained about 30 pounds in that year. I am going back to school to get my Bachelors Degree, and I just turned 27 years old. I suffer constant humiliation because I can't control my emotions because I feel so terrible about everything. I have also managed to upset everyone that I care about to the point that they are in tears or so angry with me that they don't want to talk to me. They have all forgiven me, which is good. I am at a point right now where I just don't know what more to do. I am seeing a therapist, but I am not sure if it is helping. I am stuck in a dark place right now and I don't know how to get out of it. I'm completely lost. I feel so alone. I don't think I should have moved back here and I feel that everyone had a better life before I did. I feel like such an awful person; that I am nothing but trouble for the people around me.

I know that there are people who are way worse off than I am, and that I should be thankful for what I have, and I am, but there are more dark spots right now than bright ones. If anyone has any advice or kind words to spare or anything at all, I would greatly appreciate it. Maybe one of you can see where the problem is since I can't.

Thank you.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 556
   Posted 8/7/2011 11:49 PM (GMT -6)   
We have to keep pushing against that dark place. I am in it too. As a matter of fact at times I felt like it was sucking the air up all around me and I had to gasp for air. Everyone one says it will get better. First I just kept listening to them. Now I am trying to tell myself that an believe it.

You said they have forgiven you, so now you need to forgive yourself. I found out today that I have to fight through a little at a time. Then dwell on the positives and try to shake out of the grasp of the negative.

New Member

Date Joined Jun 2011
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 8/8/2011 8:12 AM (GMT -6)   
I try to dwell on the positives, but it seems like the negatives end up taking over. It's hard to forgive myself, because I know that I shouldn't have done what I did, and I did it anyway. I feel like I need to remove myself from these people's lives, and I mean that in the way that I need to move out of my sister's house and slowly back out of their lives. It seems like everyone was happier when there was 200 miles in between us.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 8/8/2011 10:56 AM (GMT -6)   
I think your depression is clouding your view. I am sure that your friends love you and truly care. Don't cut yourself so short. You are a good person going through a difficult time. Have faith in yourself.

Learn to love yourself.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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