Depression and looking for a new job-Need advise.

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Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 144
   Posted 8/12/2011 7:02 AM (GMT -6)   
After suffering from a debilitating depression 3 years ago my husband took a fairly mindless job to help pay the bills. After two years of doing this job, his therapist and he agreed he was ready to go back to a "real" job. He has had two interviews, both times he was called back for second interviews. We are now waiting. The stress has him back in bed. We are on day three of staying in bed all day. He has FMLA for situations like this. I think he should withdraw from the two jobs openings and just stay where he is, at least its a paycheck. He hates his mindless job, it is way below his intelligence, and wants out. But it does not seem like he can cope with the job search.It is anxiety producing, that is for sure.  I am not sure what to do--one job it is too soon to hear anything (the second interview was Tuesday) and the other job it has been 10 days--but they said it could be 3 -4 weeks. The 10 day one, he is to scared to call to check as he is scared they will tell him he is out of contention. Suggestions? 

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 8/12/2011 8:11 AM (GMT -6)   
Take it one day at a time and see what happens. It sounds like it is stressful for him right now, but a new job could be just the dicket for him.

Wishing you the best. I hope it all works out well.

Take care, Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

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Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 16719
   Posted 8/12/2011 2:09 PM (GMT -6)   
Sorry your husband is so stressed. I know all about the stress of job hunting, I am always between jobs it seems. The bottom line, for me, is never to get my hopes up. When I get excited and start feeling like something is going to happen and it doesn't, I feel very let-down and low. I'd rather assume I didn't get the job and when they call, I feel very good. It's pointless to feel like it's "him" that is the reason for not getting the job, it's not him, it's not me, it's the economy. No reason to feel bad about yourself when there is extremely stiff competition and the majority of positions have a pile of resumes taller than the desk. You're a good candidate if you got a call. You're great if you got a 2nd interview. Getting the job often comes down to a bit of politics, who knows who, who has a family to support, who is what age, who is seen as "stable", who is healthy, who has less people to insure... They like to hire "Low risk" people, people who won't turn over. People with kids tend to stay put, people like me, we move around, we aren't ideal candidates. I'd be willing to bet that half the help wanted ads are for jobs that never hire. I've had managgers I've interviewed with call me and say they decided not to hire for the position. Nice of them to waste my time and get my hopes up, isn't it? Try not to take the job hunt too seriously, it could frustrate anyone, especially in this economy.

It sounds like you're a very understanding, compassionate companion and that's the most wonderful thing to have in your life. Something will come up, I don't think you should let stress stop him from finding a job that challenges him. There are medications he can take to deal with stress. My fiance is very stressed about work but you know what? even if he has a job with no stress, he is stressed. He is an uptight person. He has been seeing someone and it's helping but I don't think anythiing will change the nature of the beast. At least I am happy it is tamed to some extent.
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