No one to talk to

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New Member

Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 8/14/2011 9:42 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi. I feel like I have no one to talk to about this. I haven't met my family, and I don't have any close friends to talk to. I have been having  thoughts. . I have never told anyone about my depression because if I do try and talk to a friend about feeling down or hopless, they usually say something like I should get some help, or I should talk to someone about it. It just makes me feel worse. I feel guilty and selfish for having these thoughts, but i'm just so tired of being alive. The pain is overwhelming and there's nothing to live for. I'm not good at writing or explaining my feelings, I hope I don't come across as selfish or whining. I don't know... I just have no where to turn, and I don't know what to do.
Also, please don't just say "get counselling"
We aren't allowed to discuss suicide on the forum so I had to edit your post.
  Thanks for understanding.  Hugs, Karen

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 8/15/2011 7:26:13 AM (GMT-6)

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2011
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 8/14/2011 11:47 PM (GMT -6)   
Heya Blaire I'm gold, glad to meet ya. I am not experienced in the things that you are dealing with but after I read your post I felt it was necessary to give you a couple words. Friends are a great tool but just because they only say one thing doesn't mean they don't care or anything maybe they are just unsure of what to say. There are difficulties every individual must face at one point in their lives and I'm here to tell you that there are many many others that feel as you do right now, and you have taken a step that some of them may have been too afraid to do by talking about it here ^_^.

The thing about pain is, it is only temporary. It may be hard at first (as I am well aware) but eventually you will learn to look at it in a different way and beat it.

Also, there are many things to live for and each person is different in many ways. Just take a step back for a moment and look, the world is full of surprises my friend.

I think you have done a great job explaining how you feel even if you think you didn't. I am sure that it was a difficult thing to do.

Again I'm not experienced in things of this nature so I apologize if what I am saying sounds a bit cliche I just wanted to let you know there are others here for you and willing to lend a hand.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 8/15/2011 1:54 AM (GMT -6)   
I am curious. Why do you not want to go see a counselor?
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.

New Member

Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 8/15/2011 7:12 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Blaire, I was where you are now in February. I couldn't talk to anyone, even my husband (especially him?!) and asking my gp for a referral for counselling was out - he is a very unapproachable man so I never talk to him unless I have to. I can promise you that if you just take one day at a time, something will happen to change things and it will improve. You will still have days which are very dark, but just ride them out and remember what is out there that you want to do and haven't yet. I want to see different parts of North America like the Grand Canyon and Mount Rushmore, and I want to see the northern lights up in the Yukon with my daughter.. I want to see grandchildren. I keep these things in mind and use them to help me through the rough days. Spend some time thinking about what you wanted to do (even if right now you don't care) and plan to do them - even years from now. Try volunteering if you can. It offers a distraction and the feeling of satisfaction in having helped someone else. Even though I have to plan for an extra painful day after I spend a day volunteering, the contact and self gratification makes it worth it.

Remember, you can come here and talk about how you feel any time and it is not considered whining. We all need an outlet

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 374
   Posted 8/16/2011 4:42 PM (GMT -6)   
Having depression and feeling like this isn't something shameful. For many of us, depression is an actual illness that you simply can't 'fix' alone. Doing things like talking on here is a good first step. Going to a counselor or a therapist, or even telling your regular family doctor could also be a step. There is no shame in doing this.

When I was really struggling, some of the people around me would tell me to 'Just deal with it', like Depression is something you can turn on and off on a whim. It isn't. We all have problems and we all feel sad, but if you're feeling consumed by this sadness--it can feel really hard to reach out for help.

Please keep talking on here, and do think perhaps about reaching out to someone even if it isn't someone who wants you to get counseling. Also, I agree with the post that Awannabe posted. Finding something to do, having a goal, filling your life with things--even if you sometimes have to force yourself to do them--is a very good way to help you cope. And again, I also agree that this isn't whining at all.
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