Very very depressed these past few days

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Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 99
   Posted 8/24/2011 12:25 PM (GMT -6)   
Feeling such self loathing for falling into that situation with coworker. I literally hate myself! How could I have thought it would be something positive and that I would be able to handle it? Feel so very low and I am scraping by. Having very bad thoughts. I will be moving soon...which is good but also makes me worry. I am an independent contractor and hoping there will be work for me. (there should be). I am a very routine oriented person...need to get into routine asap when i get to where I'm going. Need to find a therapist. How do I find a therapist?

Feel very hopeless about life. Feel like this world is an evil place. Something else I think about... Several of my friends have passed away from cancer. Women who wanted to live and had so much to live for...beautiful children and families. I have no one... no children, no husband... This is the cruel joke life plays. They should have lived.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 8/24/2011 12:59 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Evangelina,

The world does have some beauty left in it. You just need to change your situation to see it. Maybe the move will help in that way. There are some good people left, you just have to find them. Try not to hate yourself. You are a beautiful and unique person. We all are. We all need to love ourselves. It is hard at times when things seem so hopeless. But you are going to feel better and will see things differently.

I think that the best way to find a therapist is through internet or phonebook. You will find one and I hope it is a good match. Sometimes the first one isn't always right for us as an individual and we have to keep searching. So don't get discouraged if that happens.

Try to keep your chin up. Don't let yourself get too discouraged. There is a book called "feeling good". It is written by a Dr. David Burns. It has been around a long time. You can find it cheap on Amazon. It is about cbt therapy. It teaches you how to basically feel better with your inner strength. I think it would really help you.

I truly hope that you feel better soon. Take care, and keep us posted on how you are doing.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 374
   Posted 8/24/2011 1:05 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi, and thanks for posting.

Getting By's advice is very good, and I agree with it too. If you have a primary medical doctor that you see, they can sometimes refer you to an out-patient psychological center that has psychiatrists (doctors) and therapists/psychologists as well. Depending upon your insurance/income and other issues like that.

I also agree that you need to 'shop around' for therapists or counselors, because many practice different forms of therapy and everyone of them certainly has a different personality that sometimes clicks with their clients or sometimes clashes. So don't be discouraged if you dislike a specific therapist, there is surely someone who you'll find that clicks with you personally.

Hope you can feel better soon, too. :)

It's Genetic
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 8/24/2011 2:29 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi, again, Evangelina88,

I have a question for you, please. How do you manage anger when
you are provoked by a situation or person? Do you have a way to
get it out constructively or do you, like some of us, tend to hold it inside until we become depressed by it?

Anger is actually a positive emotion and needs to be dealt with consciously. Do you have a rich imagination and can you see pictures in your mind of things you'd like to do (imaginatively) to those who have hurt your feelings or insulted your integrity? Although, again like a few of us, you would never physically release anger upon another, it's perfectly all right to think about the anger and find mental ways of releasing it or turning it into something constructive like art work or painting a room or sewing or knitting (pretending, for example, that each stitch is a retaliatory blow in revenge, knowing full well that you won't act on it.) One person I remember recently told us that her mother got down on the floor and literally scrubbed the floor when she was upset and depressed about something. Physical activity is a release of emotional distress, and it is known that anger that is stuffed away inside our minds can cause depression.
When I say that we should not retaliate verbally against another, that's not the whole truth.  In fact, it is necessary at rare times for us to release anger by disciplining someone who has attacked our integrity.  That's very much called for.  It is physical harm or violence that are uncalled for. 
Many of us were reared in families in which it was  inappropriate to release anger.  Unfortunately, our parents taught us the best that they knew, but they were not always exactly right about their views sometimes.  It does take great strength to be gentle, and it is rare that anger needs to be expressed in extremely strong ways; but there are other times when it's called for.  Depend on your judgment of how injurious the anger is to you personally when you think about taking revenge that is other than mental dissolving of the anger.  You can break it into tiny pieces and discard it from your mind if you wish.

It's something to think about, perhaps.

I hope you're getting along well otherwise, and I hope you will learn to love the single life. It has a lot to offer, Evangelina88.  To be free to go where you wish, when you wish (within reason), and to have no responsbility to answer to someone else or to be hindered by others who might depend on you is a freedom not all of us have been blessed to have at times.

Take care.

It's Genetic

Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 8/24/2011 1:47:58 PM (GMT-6)

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