Hi, again, Evangelina88,
I have a question for you, please. How do you manage anger when
you are provoked by a situation or person? Do you have a way to
get it out constructively or do you, like some of us, tend to hold it inside until we become depressed by it?
Anger is actually a positive emotion and needs to be dealt with consciously. Do you have a rich imagination and can you see pictures in your mind of things you'd like to do (imaginatively) to those who have hurt your feelings or insulted your integrity? Although, again like a few of us, you would never physically release anger upon another, it's perfectly all right to think about the anger and find mental ways of releasing it or turning it into something constructive like art work or painting a room or sewing or knitting (pretending, for example, that each stitch is a retaliatory blow in revenge, knowing full well that you won't act on it.) One person I remember recently told us that her mother got down on the floor and literally scrubbed the floor when she was upset and depressed about something. Physical activity is a release of emotional distress, and it is known that anger that is stuffed away inside our minds can cause depression.
When I say that we should not retaliate verbally against another, that's not the whole truth. In fact, it is necessary at rare times for us to release anger by disciplining someone who has attacked our integrity. That's very much called for. It is physical harm or violence that are uncalled for.
Many of us were reared in families in which it was inappropriate to release anger. Unfortunately, our parents taught us the best that they knew, but they were not always exactly right about
their views sometimes. It does take great strength to be gentle, and it is rare that anger needs to be expressed in extremely strong ways; but there are other times when it's called for. Depend on your judgment of how injurious the anger is to you personally when you think about
taking revenge that is other than mental dissolving of the anger. You can break it into tiny pieces and discard it from your mind if you wish.
It's something to think about
I hope you're getting along well otherwise, and I hope you will learn to love the single life. It has a lot to offer, Evangelina88. To be free to go where you wish, when you wish (within reason), and to have no responsbility to answer to someone else or to be hindered by others who might depend on you is a freedom not all of us have been blessed to have at times.
Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 8/24/2011 1:47:58 PM (GMT-6)