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New Member

Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 8/28/2011 10:15 PM (GMT -6)   
so i havent been on this site in a while but i was just starting to get the feeling that life was going to turn around for me. i've been through a lot but i was starting to see the white light at the end of the tunnel, well until now. my parents and i dont agree on a lot. they are conservative muslims from pakistan. they expect so much from me and sometimes stuff that isnt possible. they want me to wear the hijab/scarf but i dont agree with the reasoning behind it ( dont want to make this a religous rant). my whole life was around volleyball(which they completely dont agree with and tell me all the time) but recently i didnt make the team. i was pretty sad until my coach(for a different sport) offered me a spot on his team. this would have been great except my parents now dont want me to play a fall sport. my dads reasoning behind this is that girls should stay indoor(this makes so sense because my mom has a job and i played volleyball ). this post may sound really stupid  but this is my life and this is what i have to go through everyday. dealing with my parents on a day to day basis does take its toll on me and at the end of the day im just a kid and i shouldnt have to be crying myself to sleep everynight because im being discriminated for something i cant control. this makes me angry because its 2011 and i live in fricken America. if i could live their picture life it would be wake up , go to school, come home, cook and clean. my parents have never used the "girls stay indoors" reasoning before(usually my brother wouldnt be allowed to do the same things but he moved away) . i just dont know how to deal with this. i have two years before i can move away to college but i dont know how to deal with my parents anymore.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42206
   Posted 8/29/2011 7:37 AM (GMT -6)   
HI Butterfly,

You just may have to abide by their rules for the next two years. But once you move out, remember you are on your own then. Will they pay for college for you? Life isn't all that easy. We don't always get what we want as grownups either. The problems are real and we have to face them. College can be fun, but make sure that you watch out for you. You make mistakes, you then have to deal with that. You are your own person then.

Hang in there as long as you can. Know that you are in a safe environment at home. Once you get out in the big bad world, it isn't so easy. So don't rush it. I am sorry that your parents feel the way that they do. You are probably getting pretty and they worry about you. Love your parents right now. They are worried about you.

I don't understand your traditions, but I can see where you are frustrated. Like I said, hang in there, two years goes by fast. Then you will be able to do what you want. You sound like a smart person. I think that you will go far. Keep up the good work. Keep trying.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 96
   Posted 8/29/2011 1:00 PM (GMT -6)   
Yes, this is the perfect question that we were asked in Health, when does a teenager gain their independence and what do we classify as independence.
I agree with Karen, wait out the 2 years and it should all be worth it, great to hear that you want to go to College. Don't worry as this isn't a reigious thing at all, when I was a teenager I wasn't able to do anything. My father was fairly strict, but this is only because he cares about me, although I can't say I have had a successful life but the time I spend with my father now is very enjoyable (even though we argue sometimes).
Parents worry alot when we're teenagers, it's quite natural and your dad may be saying things just to protect you from getting hurt.
Hope you manage to cope and keep us posted on how things are going.

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Melbourne / Australia - G'day Mate :P

It's Genetic
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 8/29/2011 1:15 PM (GMT -6)   
A doctor once told me that the teenage years are like trying on outfits to see which one fits best. It's natural for teenagers to do that. Enjoy your school activities and listen to your parents gentle guidance until
you find the right outfit.


Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2011
Total Posts : 427
   Posted 9/5/2011 11:36 PM (GMT -6)   
Im 17 and i know EXACTLY what you mean mom isnt muslim butshes concervitive about what i wear people i hang around and all that other stuff that pisses me off ill be 18 soon (so excited) but like all these adults are saying you just have to listen to them THIS IS THE SUCKY PART OF LIFE BEING A TEENAGER my mom tells me so much how when im anadult im going to what to me a kid again i tell her never i am ready to pay thoes bills lol. get something to make tomego by faster : doyou like to paint or draw read wright stories thats what you should do write abook about a muslim girl who feels trapped by her parents and she just want to live the american dream or whatever.... girl you can make a few dollarsoff that :D ...join clubs at school home you get a good idea to make life pass by a little easier ITLL WORKOUT PROMISE I VE BEEN THREW -HELL AND BACK BACK TO HELL STAYED THERE FOR 2 YEARS AND CAME BACK WITH MY mom its better now sure ur parents are just trying to keep the tradition.
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