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Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1208
   Posted 8/29/2011 4:49 PM (GMT -6)   
i have no idea whats going on but i cant seem to go to sleep at night. i go to bed tired but as soon as i hit the pillow i am wide awake. i finally fall asleep between one and four am. im exhausted the next day and even fall asleep for a small nap, which i try not to, and then i cant sleep at night. i am taking my ADD meds religiously now, although i was forgetting before. i know i had four days of closing where im home at 3 am but that was two weeks ago and im back to only closing two nights. yes life is stressful with bills and being a mom and a wife. im missing having a family and i am finding myself thinking of back when i was young when family was close. my cousin is in town and wants me to meet them for dinner and i want my hubby to go and he doesnt want to go but i dont think it would kill him to go. i know he doesnt like my family but i would do it for him.
i am in between therapist because of my schedule so i havent been to see the therapist in over a month and i hate that. i am not ready to be without my therapist. my coworker who said he noticed i was ADD also says he thinks i am bipolar too as his girlfriend is and he sees the same symptoms within me. i dont know. i do know that i sometimes feel trapped in life. i am not feeling trapped in my marriage but i feel like i do the same thing over and over and there is no end in sight. im never going to get out of fast food and that is depressing. i have had 2 people tell me that i am depressed but yet i dont feel it. i just feel like life is never going to change but yet i am staying upbeat for my hubby and my daughter.  there has to be more to life than this. im afraid of doing the wrong things and im always wondering where im going to screw up next and i hate that feeling.

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 8/29/2011 8:54 PM (GMT -6)   

Have you ever tried meditation? I do it at night and fall to sleep rather easily. My problem is waking up with hip pain in the early morning and having to get out of bed. I also take ambien for sleep. I can sleep easy, but don't get restful sleep. My doctor called it "tired sleep".

I find a lot of people don't sleep because they have a lot of things on their minds. They keep thinking even after they go to bed. My husband will be up to wee hours of the morning thinking. I use to be that way. But I have learned the meditation and taking life one day at a time. You never know what is around the next corner.

I have a hard time with change. So being in a routine is easy for me. In fact, I do better when I put myself on a schedule. But there is always going to be the unforeseen things that happen. So don't worry, things will change in your life. Hopefully for the best.

I see my therapist every other month now. I have to see her in September. Get refills on prescriptions and all that good stuff. I like seeing mine too. She is really nice. My sessions always go well. And she seems very intuitive. She can always tell when something is bothering me, even if I don't realize it at the time. Which really helps a lot.

Do you think you are depressed or bipolar? If you were bipolar, you would probably be experiencing some mania during times. And that is something that you know if you have it. You get sudden surges of energy, talk a lot and fast. Some people go on spending sprees, so go to gambling. Usually you would be doing things in excess. You would know it and recognize it. Then you drop into deep depression. You get moody. Do you have any of those symptoms? Have you looked it up on the internet and read about it? I would do that and see what the therapist thinks. If you were bipolar, you may be getting treated for the wrong thing. So I would talk to the therapist next time you see them.

I sure do hope that you feel better soon. Take care WG. Great to see you post.

Hugs. Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 8/30/2011 5:06 AM (GMT -6)   
i try and tire myself before bed. not that it works, but may do for you. with healing compassion,
have you thought about sleep aponea or obstructive sleep apenea. i am doing a sleep study, this may benefit you also.


Screaming Eagle
Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 5005
   Posted 8/30/2011 8:54 AM (GMT -6)   
     Hello!...just a small you go to bed with some sort of noise, a fan? I bought a white Noise machine and it helps....however,... I too!... am having sleeping problems, and wake up several time a night.
     Headed to see my PCD today, for a possible sleep Apnea study. I snore like a "Big Dog"....and my tongue is as dry as a bone when I wake up. shakehead
      Take care,
   SE wink
Moderator Chronic Pain Forum

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"Snowflakes are one of nature's most fragile things, but just look at what they can do when they stick together"

It's Genetic
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 8/30/2011 9:29 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi, Worried Girl,

Here is a list of the things I tried that helped:

1. Had a brain X-ray to determine if the pineal gland had calcified. (That's the organ that controls sleep as it produces melatonin when it begins to get dark outside (or inside). If that's calcified, you're going to need a sleep aid for the remainder of your life probably--off and on. If you're young, you probably still have active production of melatonin. (Melatonin can be purchased, but it has  an effective level of use for only 3 months.)

2. Used 5htp tryptophan (1 capsule) which can cross the blood brain barrier and is excellent for inducing a healthy form of sleep, along with 0.5 mg. Clonazepam (1)--same thing as Klonopin). Regular tryptophan is worthless because it can't cross the blood brain barrier. Be cautious about 5htp tryptophan if you're taking an antidepressant. There's a rare but serious illness called the serotonin syndrome that can occur when combining selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors with 5htp tryptophan. (Just stopping the SSRIs will clear up the syndrome, usually within 24 hours. It's rare,but one needs to see a doctor right away if it happens.)

3. Stopped watching TV an hour before going to bed because the light
from TV or bright lamps used when reading will slow the production of melatonin in the brain. Also tried to slow physical activity for an hour or so before going to bed and drank only water--nothing with sugar in it. Read for several minutes with a bedside lamp turned on low light to keep from inhibiting melatonin production; read something relaxing or positive in tone.
5. If I still couldn't sleep, I'd take 1/2 aspirin which didi the trick.

6. Avoided caffeine completely because caffeine acts as a central nervous system stimulant and will alter one's sleep pattern strongly if you're sensitive to it.

7. Made sure the room was a comfortable temperature before getting into bed.
8. An excellent antihistamine called Xyzal (5) mg. was extremely beneficial for me when trying to get to sleep after eating something earlier that was acidic in reaction. (Xyzal  5 is available only by prescription, I think.) Remember, most of the serotonin receptor sites in the body are  located in the digestive system, not overwhelmingly in the brain as has been thought previously.

Sweet dreams!


Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 8/30/2011 9:41:17 AM (GMT-6)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1208
   Posted 9/1/2011 10:55 AM (GMT -6)   
i used to listen to music when i had troubles sleeping but my husband has sleep apnea so even the sound that comes from earphones will keep him up even with ear plugs. he sleeps with ear plugs because i snore but the music would keep him up and my daughter broke my earphones. i feel like my life is the same every day and no changes. i dont have many good friends and the ones i do have work or have kids and cant break free. my daughter is in school and i know i should be happy with her there i am lonely without her. i love her to death and i hate the fact that she is not here with me. there must be something wrong with me lol. i love my husband but he can be hard to live with sometimes and i try hard to deal with his whims, he is an ocd in denial lol. i dont get out much and sometimes when im alone i dont want to. i dont feel depressed but i find myself wondering who i am. i think that i lost who i am somewhere along the way, yet im not depressed. i think some of it is learning who the amy is with ADD. i think bipolar because my moods shift so fast and rapidly. my employee says he see the mania as im overzealous and happy and then im angry and moody. i dont know. i feel like i am trapped in my brain and i cant escape. the things i think doesnt come out the way i want and i mess them up. i feel like i dont belong anywhere. i know i belong at home but on t he bad days i just want to keep on driving and disappear but i dont. my hubby and my kid keep me grounded. work is not so stressful anymore as my general manager is working at another store but when she comes back i will be back to being stressed. i am even running service times without being stressed and my employees says i seem happy now that she isnt there. i get emails from my general manager congratulating us on speed of service and she is proud of us and that makes me so  happy but yet when she comes back i know it will be stressful again and i work better when im not stressed.
The only person who can make you happy is you. Be your own self and love who you are because each and every one of you are wonderful for who you are

"No one really dies because they have loved. Because they love they stay in the hearts of the people they have touched so in that their memory lives on." Ghost whisperer-i know corny but this touched me deep down and i see so much truth in it.

It's Genetic
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 9/1/2011 1:32 PM (GMT -6)   
We've moved a little away from the sleep problem, Worried Girl, and you have opened your heart to us to let us know what you think might
be at the bottom of the some of the problems for you.

Do you believe that you might have bipolar giftedness? If so, you have one of the mildest cases I ever heard of. One way for you to know is
to see a psychiatrist and have a good counseling session with him/her.
The specialist will know on your first visit the identity of the major problem for you and will medicate you properly if needed. Ask him
about some sleep medication if you think about it. There are some good ones that will help you get your rest when you need to take something occasionally.

Just between me and you, you sound as healthy as anyone I know.
You might enjoy talking to a specialist and getting a report just to ease your mind.

Hopefully, your job will continue to remain a happy event without the re-introduction of the former manager with whom you have a conflict.
If she does come back, perhaps you could carefully arrange a transfer a little later to get into a more pleasant surrounding.

Take care and continue to post as you would like.

It's Genetic

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1208
   Posted 9/1/2011 3:51 PM (GMT -6)   
it would be a mild case but i tend to yell and hubby complains about it alot and the ADD meds dont help that so i think i have a bipolar tendency and even he said when i mentioned bipolar that he believes that. i do enjoy talking to a specialist because then i can talk about my true feelings and sort them out without being a burden to my husband. i feel healthy but i think i am lonely too. i have my hubby and kid but i am not sure why i still feel lonely.
The only person who can make you happy is you. Be your own self and love who you are because each and every one of you are wonderful for who you are

"No one really dies because they have loved. Because they love they stay in the hearts of the people they have touched so in that their memory lives on." Ghost whisperer-i know corny but this touched me deep down and i see so much truth in it.

It's Genetic
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 9/1/2011 5:11 PM (GMT -6)   
I wish I could answer the question about why you are lonely, but I can't. It could be that you find it difficult to open up to your husband as fully as you would like. Psychiatric help may show you the way to do that.

There is a certain existential loneliness about life under the best of circumstances, and it may be something that you just need to accept about life; I just don't know. If the truth were really known, I suspect that all of us have a certain amount of loneliness and that may be why we seek friendship, help, and guidance even through the Healing Well Forum.

A spiritual satisfaction may be a big help. Try everything until you're
content. Happiness is homemade and the result of living well.

Take care.

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