Trying to sort this all out

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apollo124
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 8/30/2011 3:48 PM (GMT -6)   
Just a quick introduction. I have never had any problem with

depression. Or, no more than people normally have. I am not now, nor

ever been suicidal. I am deeply in love my wife, but things from her

past rear their ugly heads occasionally. She suffers depression and PTSD

from her physically and verbally abusive alcoholic ex-husband and her

verbally abusive youngest son. Her ex also had, an estimated 300 to 500

sexual affairs, without her knowing. My wife got pregnant with her first

son on their wedding night. She was 6 months pregnant when her ex had

an affair with the next door neighbor. The youngest son thinks his mom

is a troublemaker, which she is not, and that his dad is the best thing

since sliced bread. I think this is because his dad likes to drink, get

drunk and have parties, just like him. His dad was a flight attendant

and was gone from home 4 to 5 days a week. His mother raised them, fed

them, took care of the home, taught school, went to soccer games, scout

meetings, and everything else while the dad was out screwing around with

other women and bringing home VD twice to his wife. And when he would

come home from work and there were dirty cloths in the hamper or dirty

dishes in the sink, he would go off on her and they would fight for

hours. He would hit her, push her around and talk down to her. He once

even had her on the floor slapping her and the oldest son hit his dad

and called the police. My wife tried to keep the marriage together for

the sake of the kids. She said otherwise, she would have left him.

Recently, my wife was talking to a friend about all this during a

gathering for her youngest sons upcoming wedding. This woman was the

only person my wife talked to and she told my wife it would remain

confidential. This friend stabbed her in the back by telling her

youngest son what my wife said. This is where my story begins.

My wife's son called her on the phone the next day giving her hell about

talking about this. He yelled at her, told her that she wrecked his

life and that she was *****d up in the head. He had my wife so upset,

she started calling friends telling them goodbye, saying she was going

to kill herself. Her son knows just exactly how to push her buttons to

get her upset and normally I am there to talk to her and get her settled

down. This time, I was at work. I got a call from her oldest son

telling me what was going on. By the time I got home, the sheriff was

there talking to her. She was no longer suicidal. She said she wanted

to go to the hospital and talk to someone. To admit herself to

behavioral health. When I took her to the hospital, they involuntairily

committed her. They stripped her of her cloths, searched her, took her

belongings, went through her purse, took her cloths, her medications,

her rights and her dignity. She was given paper cloths to wear and she

was locked up. I could only talk to her 3 times a day for 10 minutes by

phone. She talked to a psychiatrist the next day and figured out what

triggered all this. HER YOUNGEST SON! The doctor made arrangements for

her to leave first thing the next morning. We had a family conference

and the doc told me he felt comfortable letting her go. My wife told me

she had been given a book to read called co-dependants anonymous. She

said that the first few pages made her understand what was going on for

the first time in her life. She has bought the book and is doing better

now than I have ever seen her at dealing with past memories of her son

and ex husbands abuse. When she got out of the hospital, she posted

something on her facebook account, written in 3rd person about kids

treating their parents badly. Her son called in a matter of minutes

demanding that she take that off. She did. I would have reposted it

over and over again.

My problem is that my wife has forgiven her son for what he has done.

Even though, the day she came home, he called and started his crap

again. I can't be that forgiving. When she was in the hospital, I cried

for hours on end because of what was happening to her, and there was

nothing I could do to save her. The first time I was able to talk to

her, after taking her to the hospital, was 5 hours later. She had the

sound of helplessness and terror in her voice that I can't get out of my

head. My heart was bing ripped out. Here it is a week later and I am

still hurting but my wife has brushed it under the rug. She tells me

it's no big deal. She was treated like crap during her first marriage

of 17 years, she is used to it. I have spoke to her son and he has no

sense of remorse for what he has caused.

The son that caused all this is getting married in November. He asked

us a while back if we would help pay for the wedding rehursal dinner.

We said we would, and it is $1000.00. I am determined not to send it now

because of these events. My wife says she has unconditional love for

her son and she is going to send it anyway. She is disabled and

requires lots of medication, and our finances are very tight. She had

fibromyalgia, rheumatiod arthritis, ostio arthritis, one replacment

knee, depression, PTSD, degenerative disk disease in two places in her

back, and chronic fatigue syndrome. Just had to pay to get her car out

of the bodyshop, had to get a new water heater and had to have the

heatpump replaced. Money is even tighter right now. We almost have no

money to speak of. She is talking about taking out a loan to send him

this money. This infuriates me to no end that, after all the pain her

son has caused us, she still wants to send him the money and go to his

wedding. She gives me the guilt trip about a mothers unconditional love

thing. My problem is that, in the past, he would go off on his mom for

the littlest thing, then later call her and talk to her but never say he

is sorry. He never has, and never will. She will give him the money

(we don't have), everything will be good for a few months, then he will

go off on her about something else and start trouble all over again. Am

I wrong for feeling the way I do.

I have been depressed ever since the day this happened. I have cried

many hours over this. Yes, my wife is home and I can hold her in my arms

again, but she was hurt by all this and I am having a hard time dealing

with this. She was treated like crap for all those years and I know I

can't take away all the bad memories from the past, but I want to make

the present and future as good as I can. I guess I am hurt so much

because I so deeply love this women. She is the only woman in my life

now. My mom passed away last year. Yes I was devistated when my mom

died, but she was a good woman who had a good husband and son that

treated her like a wife and mother should be treated. When my mom got

sick, we all knew she was going to die, even her. I still miss her very

much and wish she could be here to help me through this. I have to take

care of my wife now that she his the only woman in my life. That is my

job as a husband. I DID sign up for it when we got married.

My wife made me promise during my drunken stupor last nigth, that I

would go to the wedding with her. And she told me that she would leave

me if I became an alcoholic like her ex. I am not a drinker. I like a

beer when I am grilling out or cooking spaghetti. I may drink a 6-pack

over a month to month and a halfs time. It has been many years since I

have had a drink of liquor. But yesterday it as a whole bottle of

tequila in 3 hours. I was a drunken mess. I made the deal to go to the

wedding, but now I don't want to. I can't show that boy that I respect

him enough to go to his wedding. Little creap!

Does anyone have any advise for me. I need to know what I can do to deal

with this. I passionately love my wife, and try to do everything I can

for her. She can't seem to understand why I am still so upset over

this. She says she is over it. All I want is for her to never have to

go through this again and for her youngest son to grow a set, and be the

man that he THINKS he is. Any Advise?

Crackles23
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 96
   Posted 8/30/2011 4:17 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello Apollo124,

Welcome to the forums and please know that you will receive much support from these forums.

Not sure where to start to be honest, however the support and loyalty you have for your wife is incredible. There isn't a great deal of advice I could give in this situation, it seems your wife has forgiven and gotten over this situation and I agree with you about the whole money situation. Is her son fueled by his father at all? Some people are just like this I guess, personally I would never ever do anything like this to my mum.

We have similiar problems between my mother and my older sister, they are going through some stupid trivial court case about my mum not being able to see her grandkids. This was all sparked off by an arguement that they had and my sister refusing her from seeing them, so this had nothing to do with their kids what so ever...but they don't see what pain they will cause on the rest of the family.

I truly don't know what her son's problem is, just sounds like he is taking after his old man. It's amazing how people are quite willing to treat people like that after asking for funds for a wedding.
I don't understand some people to be honest and where they even get their motives to treat people like this. You and your wife shouldn't have to deal with it and your wife should never had ever been treated like that, by her ex or by her son.
My only suggestion to you mate, is to seek some counselling as they can help in many ways. Other than that, please keep us posted and please feel free to vent and let it out. Sometimes communication and just someone listening and acknowledging can help dramatically.

Hope this helped you mate, keep us posted and know you will receive some more support from other members that may be able to help you alittle bit more than I can.

David.

Post Edited (Crackles23) : 8/30/2011 3:22:11 PM (GMT-6)


It's Genetic
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 8/30/2011 4:22 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello, Apollo 124,

Welcome to the Depression forum; here are some things to think about:

1. You should stop drinking, period. It makes depression worse and
kills brain cells just as surely as narcotics do over time.
 
2. You should have your wife talk to a psychiatrist and recover from
the disease of alcoholism to which she was exposed. When her life
has been reorganized, she may be happier than ever in her life.

3. The son who is abusive and one who asks for money sounds as if he may be a psychopath. If that is so, you're in for a difficult life unless you can get him out of your home and away from your wife, although she does love him unconditionally, as she says.

4. If she can afford the $1,000. gift for the rehearsal-sorry--(which will turn out to be more expensive, believe me, if they include alcoholic drinks, beer, a cake, appetizers, etc.) he may try to hit her for that. At that point, do not permit him to have any more money. Once he knows he's not going to get it no matter how hard he  tries, he may decide to leave you alone. There is also the possibility that he may get rough if he is psychopathic. Be wary.

5. Psychopaths (or antisocial personalities) are not able to undergo psychotherapy effectively. They just become more cunning in their deception following treatment. The antisocial personality disorder may
be abled to be trained somewhat but not to the point of being really healthy as a personality. Your wife needs to understand that she is not helping him by providing everything he demands. On the contrary, it just makes her an easier "hit" for him. Get him away from you if possible.

6. If you promised your wife that you would attend the wedding, make
that promise good, but leave as soon as possible. Try not to promise things in the future that you will not follow through on. Keep her trust in you; leave off the alcohol, be honest with her, and work with her to
recover from the tragic life she led before she married you.

7. That boy is a real headache; he is definitely not a good man, though he may be physically one. It takes great strength to be gentle, Apollo124, and life is going to teach you that as you try to be as honest and devoted as you can to your wife. If the boy is a reason for your getting drunk, take action. Keep him away from your wife and your home. If you need therapy to recover from his damage, see a psychiatrist to get his recommendations on how to handle things in the future. Drinking is only going to make things worse.

Take care of yourself and keep posting as you feel the need if we
can help you through this.

It's Genetic

Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 8/31/2011 12:02:19 AM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 8/30/2011 5:12 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Apollo124,

I basically wanted to welcome you to the forum. I atgree with the others that counseling would help you to deal with this situation. You will learn how to remain neutral and still have a say in what is going on. I know this must be hard for you as you don't want to see your wife hurt. And I hope that she continues with counseling to get through this. Remember, you can't fix everything, but you can be there for her. You can't change her past, but you can help her get through it by being supportive. She will heal, it sounds like she is already, unless she is in denial. Which could be the case. And could be the reason she lets her son take advantage of her. I hate to see that you are going into debt with the wedding reception. But you will deal with that as it comes. I hope it is a nice wedding and that all goes smoothly.

Keep posting and know that we all do care about you.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

apollo124
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 8/30/2011 8:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks everyone for your imput.  I will take all this information to heart in my decision making in this matter. 
 
First off, let me add some clarification to my story.  My wifes son doesn't live with us.  He is, believe it or not, in the US Army.  He is a C.I.D. (crime scene investigator). He will not talk to a psychiatrist.  He says they are all crazy and they tell you what you don't want to hear.  He says if you talk to 10 different psychs, you will get 10 different answers.  When my wife and her ex went to marriage counselors, they got the same answer from all 14 of them.  It was the ex husbands fault. 
 
As for the $1000 for the rehursal dinner.  No, alcohol is not going to be in my budget.  We have already told him that there are going to be too many drunks there, (his friends and his dads family), and we couldn't and wouldn't pay for them to get drunk.  If they want a drink, then they could pay for the bar tab.
 
Thanks again for all your input.  I greatly appreciate any guiding words you folks can give me.
 
 

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 8/30/2011 8:28 PM (GMT -6)   
I said reception, but it is rehersal dinner, I am sorry. I think that you are right about that. Let them pay for their own drinks. It is sad that there is that much alcohol problem there. It really effects a family and there is always some kind of drama. I hope that you can stear clear of that.

I hope that it all goes well.

Take it one day at a time.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

apollo124
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 8/30/2011 8:44 PM (GMT -6)   
I have never been a big drinker, and I am 51 years old.  I am not one of those over paid, nose in the clouds, better than everyone else, type of people.  I am your average Joe.  I can buy a 6 pack of beer and it will last me for a month or more.  I get a little tequila for an occasional mixed drink.  That bottle has been in the cabinet for over a year, and the seal had never been broken.  I had a childhood friend who's older brother was killed in a car driven by a drunk driver.  My ex mother-in-law was killed by a drunk driver.  I have never driven drunk and don't intend on starting now.  Therefore, I will not partake of any alcoholic beverage at the rehersal dinner, nor the reception.  Though, I don't plan on hanging around for the reception.  I will wait in the car if my wife HAS to go. 
 
Thanks for you input.  I am taking it one day at a time.  I have started writing in a journal, my feeling during different times of the day.  It seems to give me an outlet when there is nobody around, or if I really don't want to talk to anybody.
 
Thanks again

It's Genetic
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 8/31/2011 1:13 AM (GMT -6)   
I hope things work for you well, Apollo 124, it sounds as though you
have some plans in mind for the rehearsal and reception. Those of
us who have journaled found it to be really helpful.

As others have requested, take it one day at a time.

Good wishes,

It's Genetic

apollo124
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 8/31/2011 2:59 AM (GMT -6)   
Now things have gotten even worse. Just got the bill in the hospital. I am still depressed over the situation, but now I have anger on top of it all. I am thinking seriously about sending the hospital bill to my wife's son. What do you folks think about that idea? He caused the problem, I think he should have to pay.

Jim1969
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 8/31/2011 4:12 AM (GMT -6)   
There is an old saying...Don't come between a mama bear and her cubs.

If you push things too hard you run the risk of, at least in your wife's eyes, of making her choose between you and her brat of a kid, and when that happens most parents will choose their kids.

If I read this right your wife has 2 kids. One basically a good kid and the other a monster, right? If this is correct perhaps the one person who might be able to get through to your wife is her other son, assuming that he agrees with you about what the other one is doing.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.

It's Genetic
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 8/31/2011 8:07 AM (GMT -6)   
The question now seems to be who is paying the bills in the family?
I don't think you'll be successful with sending a bill to the son who's
a troublemaker.

I have a lot of compassion for you Apollo124, and you have some decisions to make that could work either way for you. Jim is right
about the analogy of the mama bear and her cubs. There must be a balance somewhere in this for you.

One thing is certain, I think. It isn't over for the young troublemaker until he grows up and understands that when one pays the bills, that's
usually the one who leads in a family.

Take care.

It's Genetic

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 8/31/2011 8:40 AM (GMT -6)   
I wouldn't push the bill thing for the hospital. She went in, it is her problem. Even though he had a lot to do with it. I think that she got something out of the hospital nstay and that was what the goal was. I would pay the bill and let it go. I know you are angry at her son, but I wouldn't try to come between them at this point. Hopefully he will grow up and she will also stop taking his crap. But in the meantime, I agree with the mother bear thing. She is protective of him in her own way. Give it until after the wedding. Pretty soon he will be wrapped up in his own life and not have time to stir up yours and your wifes. But there is always going to be a bond there. Remember that and respect it. I know it is hard when he is a brat. But hopefuly some distance will come.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

apollo124
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 8/31/2011 6:47 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks to everyone.

You know, it wouldn't bother me as much if he would call her and say he was sorry for what he did. My wife has already gave him her apology. He doesn't have a big enough pair to do it.

Yes, the oldest son is on our side. He has given his little brother hell about what he did, but he will not admit his fault. It's probably best if I take my wife to the wedding and just drop her off. I can't stand the thoughts of seeing that boy.

By the way, please keep me and my oldest son in your prayers. He hasn't been feeling good for a few days. He had some blood work done the other day and it came back that he has hepatitis B. He is not, and never has been a drug user, no tattoos either. Don't know how he got it. He is in the hospital right now being treated for it. He has no job and no insurance.

Seems like when it rains, it pours. My cup is about to runneth over.

Thanks to everyone for your helpful words.

Crackles23
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 96
   Posted 8/31/2011 7:04 PM (GMT -6)   
Yep I also agree with the above comments, don't send him the bill as this will only cause more problems. I think the best thing for you right now is to not get yourself involved, as upsetting as it is to you to see people get hurt and I truly understand.
Like Karen stated in an earlier post about his wedding, maybe he will be wrapped up in his own life and won't have time to upset you or your wife.
I think the best thing to do at this stage is to support your wife as much as you possibly can and it's true, no matter who her son is there will always be a bond between them in 1 way or form.

On a more important note, I hope the oldest son is okay and is successfully treated in the hospital, they have very good treatment for hepatitis these days and he can still lead a good solid long life.
I know it's often hard to deal with scenarios when there is so much on the plate, I hope you and your wife manage to deal with 1 problem at a time and try take 1 day at a time.

Good Luck, I know you'll make the right decision.

David.
Diagnosis - Ankylosing Spondilitis
Meds - Celebrex 200mg Once daily - Contains Celecoxib.

Diagnosis - Panic / Anxiety Disorder
Meds - Self treated (relaxation techniques)

Melbourne / Australia - G'day Mate :P

apollo124
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 9/1/2011 2:36 AM (GMT -6)   
I told my wife that, him being in the US Army, he will be doing his Afganastan tour soon. I don't want to see him, or any other soldier, hurt. But maybe if he would go over there and get the living crap scared out of him, he would grow up really quickly, and not to take his mom for granted.

By the way, I just found out that my son doesn't have hepatitis B. But the doctors say he has a very badly damaged liver. He is only 27 years old. The doc said it would take many years of extremely heavy drinking to damage his liver as badly as it has been. The docs are going to do a biopsy in the morning to find out what is going on.

Man...my plate just keeps getting deeper and deeper in the pile of turds!
Please keep him in your prayers.

Thanks to all!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 9/1/2011 7:15 AM (GMT -6)   
Will keep your oldest son in my prayers. I am sorry this has happened. Tylenol can cause liver damage too if you take a whole lot of it. I wonder what caused this. I am sure that after some tests are run, you will find out what caused it. Take care, keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

It's Genetic
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 9/1/2011 5:28 PM (GMT -6)   
Will say a prayer now for the older son, Apollo--one for you, too, that
you will get through all this in stable and loving condition.

I.G.

apollo124
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 9/1/2011 8:28 PM (GMT -6)   
Just found out today that my son does not have hepatitis B. His liver and kidneys are failing for some reason. Doctors are not very optimistic about the outcome. He was told that he might come out of this ok, considering his young age. He more than likely will have to have a liver and/or kidney transplant. The doctor also told him it was a posibility that he may never walk out of the hospital alive. Talk about ripping my heart out. The pile of turds on my plate are just about to run over on the floor.

Everyone please pray for my son.

Thank you....thank you....thank you

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 9/1/2011 8:57 PM (GMT -6)   
Thoughts and prayers go out to you and your son. I am hoping that his young age will benefit him. I am sorry to hear all of this. Keep thinking positive. Be positive around him. That will be what gets you both through. It really does make a difference. Keeping you in our thoughts.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

apollo124
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 9/8/2011 12:19 AM (GMT -6)   
I am trying to stay positive in these trying times, but it's hard.  My son was showing some signs of improvement, but then took a turn around.  He started having pains in his stomach and back.  The doctors suspect it may be a pancreas problem.  They already said he had damage to his kidneys, liver, spleen, and intestines.  Got, isn't that enough.  The doctors took him out last night to do an MRI.  Havn't heard anything back from the results yet.  My wife is still having issues too.  She loves my son like her own. My son has treated my wife with love and respect.  My wife is his step-mother.  There has never been a harm word between them.  But my wife's son, that is in the army, has yet to speak to her since the incident over 2 weeks ago.  She has call and left him messages, but he will not call her back.  Posted to him on facebook, but no reply. I'm about ready to pull my hair out.  Least it will save on shampoo.  Please, everybody, pray for our lives to get better.  This is really tough on me.  But, I am trying to remain strong for my family. 

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 9/8/2011 8:02 AM (GMT -6)   
Our thoughtws and prayers are with you Apollo124, You are going through a very difficult time and I am glad that you came here. Sometimes it is hard to find the right words, but I try. This is the hands of a higher power right now. It is hard to deal with a situation like that. Is your son keeping this from his wife? Or are they having problems? Keep coming here and posting. At least you can get a chance to vent. We all care about you and your family. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

apollo124
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 9/9/2011 3:17 AM (GMT -6)   
My wife's son just called for the first time in over 2 weeks to talk to us. He wanted to tell us that my son is in his prayers. BUT... He never said he was sorry to his mom for what he said a couple of weeks ago. My son, who is in the hospital, is divorced. He married a beautiful girl who went through the Dr. Jekyl - Mrs. Hyde thing when they got married. She treated him like a slave. Yelling at him for any little thing he did wrong. Her mom treated her dad the same way. The marriage only lasted about 6 months. My son was living in hell. He started drinking just to deal with her abuse. He is now in Clinical Care Unit at the hospital. He has fluid in and around his lungs. Hard for him to breathe. He looks really bad. The doctor told us yesterday, that things don't look good. But, they are not giving up on him. All I want to do right now is cry my eyes out for him. He lives with is grandpa. My mom passed away in October of last year. Since his divorce, he as stayed with his grandpa, my dad, to help him out. My son said he was laying in his bed and saw a dark shadow pass by his bedroom door, then heard s door slam shut. His grandpa was asleep. He went to check it out, and it was the guest bedroom. We think it was his grandma's spirit letting him know that she was there watching over him. God, I wish she could be here to help us. She always had a way of making things better. I will write again when I get some time. Thanks to everyone.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 9/9/2011 9:11 AM (GMT -6)   
Apollo,

Know that our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Often people self medicate to deal with hard situations. I think this was the case with your son, and I am sorry about that. Try to keep your spirits up. Think positive,. I know it is hard to do at this point. It is kind of in the Lord's hands at this point. Keep posting and know that we do care.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

apollo124
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 9/15/2011 7:43 PM (GMT -6)   
Sorry it has been a while since I wrote, but things have been hectic here.  My son is finally out of the hospital, but he is not well.  He has a long road ahead of him to recover, if he does recover.  The doctors said his liver is in very bad shape, but it may be able to heal itself.  I pray every day that it will. 
 
Now on to my wife's youngest son.  He finally sent my wife the mothers day and birthday gifts he bought for her.  Remember mothers day a while back!  And her birthday was in July.  She opened them Tuesday when she got them.  She called her son to thank him and just started talking.  He brought up the money for his wedding rehursal dinner.  He's got a lot of freaking nerve.  My wife told him about all of the expenses we have been through the past month.  The hospital stay that he caused, the water heater, the car in the body shop, the central air unit, my son in the hospital.  He said, fine, he was going to take out a loan and pay for it himself.  Then he started getting on my wifes case again.  He got her crying by the way he was talking to her.  He is such a ... never mind.  I will not type that kind of stuff here.  But to start giving her that much crap again, after already putting her in the hospital once, and with what we are going through with my son in the hospital, looks like he could have been a little more civil.  Sometimes I just wish he would never call us again and that my wife would forget he ever existed.  She would be so much better off.  She even called me afterwards, still crying, telling me that she needed to here me, or someone , to tell them that they love her.  Her youngest didn't even tell her before he hung up on her.  I told her not to let it get under her skin again and end up in the hospital.  She promised she would never let him get to her like that again.  I talked to her and got her to quit crying.  I just wish that "BOY" would leave her alone.  That's all he is, a BOY.  A real man would never talk to his mother like that and make her cry.  I FREAKING HATE HIM! I told my wife that I never intend on speaking to him as long as I live unless he tells her that he is sorry for what he has done.  I promised her that I would take her to his wedding.  But I plan on sitting in the crowd with my wifes sister and brother-n-law. I WILL NOT GO to any of the functions or photo sessions before or after the wedding.  After the wedding is over, as far as I am concerned,  that BOY doesn't exist. I hate to be that way, but he has shown that he doesn't love the one who wiped his nose and butt when he was little. Gave up so much so he could have.  Read him bedtime stories.  Took him to soccer practice. Helped him with homework. Washed his cloths.  Took food off her plate after her divorce so the he could have food.  And all the other things that a mother does for her child.  And yet worships the ground that his dad walks on.  The one who beat him and his mom when he was little.  Stayed drunk when ever he was home.  Yelled at them at the top of his lungs.  Never helped them with anything.  Made them mow the yard with a push mower and give the yard the checker board pattern.  If they didn't do it right, he would whip their butts and make them do it again.  This boy loves this man now.  Can't figure it out.  Anyone know what his major malfunction is?
 
Thanks to everyone for letting me vent a little here.  It makes me feel better.  I pretty much believe, if I hadn't come here, I would have had to seek professional counseling to get me through all this. 
 
Also, thanks to everyone for their prayers for my son.  He is getting better, but he is not out of the woods completely yet.  Doctors say he has many months to recover. 
 
Thanks so very much!

It's Genetic
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 9/16/2011 10:30 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello, Apollo,124, it was nice of you to respond and let us know where you are in the situation you find yourself. Often, people may not return to the forum once they have vented regarding their problems and have received responses.

We are interested in how things worked out for those who came to the forum for answers, and we're always happy to know that folks are making the best of a difficult situation and looking for a good ending to their problems.

If prayers are still needed for you and your family, you've got them.

Take care and thanks for responding.

It's Genetic
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