Can anyone help?

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hdp
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 9/3/2011 11:03 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm not even sure where to start. i was diagnosed with clinical depression in january 2009 after I cheated and left my husband. This was with a coworker. i moved out for 4 months. He stalked me, stole my car and cut my brake lines (which he denies). we ended up going to counseling and i eventually went back to him A) I thought we could work it out, and B) a big part of me just wanted the stalking to stop. i felt like if i didn't go back it wouldn't. I realized I didn't love him anymore and felt stuck. Well, I cheated on him again with the same man and ended up leaving this past May. The harassment and stalking started. I filed for divorce. He wouldn't give me a car, my personal belongings or let me stay in the house. He filed a PFA against ME (for no reason) and I was not allowed in the house. The only place I could stay was with the man I cheated on him with. at this time that man had left the job, i was still working there. Husband harassed me so much at work, dumped some of my clothes in the parking lot, I took a few days off. After telling my atty I didn't want anything to do with the house ( my name on mtg, he was on deed), 1 day later the house burned down. Investigation still going on about that. That was all i could take and ended up moving out of state with boyfriend. now I'm in a strange state, no car, no job, hell not even a ss card or birth cert to get a job. I' can't stop crying and feel like I'm being punished for leaving him. Oh, I stopped taking meds bc they made me not feel anything. i have a script for antidepress/anti anxiety but afraid to start bc of no med ins to get more. I already know the effects of stopping cold turkey and don't want to go through that again. any thoughts or suggestions?

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 9/3/2011 11:15 AM (GMT -6)   
I think that the first thing that you should do is work on getting the things back that you lost in the fire. Your ID, birth certificate etc so that you can get established again. Not having a birth certificate shouldn't stop you from getting a job. You can still fill out an application and if you have a driver's liscense that should be sufficient.

You don't want to live with a guy that is stalking you. And that is making your life a living hell. You aren't being punished, I don't think. You just have obstacles to over come. Are you seeing a counselor? You can get help even if you don't have money. Often you can get counseling cheap or for free. I would check into it. Or you can make payments.

I would work on getting the documents that you lost. Make some phone calls and see what it is that you need to do. These are replacable.

Keep your chin up. Keep ipsting, as there will be others with info for you. Being it is a holiday weekend, I don't know how busy the forum will be. But it picks up during the week.

Take care,

Welcome to the forum.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

hdp
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 9/3/2011 11:21 AM (GMT -6)   
thank you karen, I'm going to get a new ss card on Tuesday. I'm afraid to go get a job because I cry all the time, not sure that would go over well in an interview! I'm hoping area agencies will help me find free or low cost sessions, I can't keep going like this. Maybe I'm not being punished for this but it sure feels like I am. have a great long weekend and i'll keep checking back.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 9/3/2011 12:34 PM (GMT -6)   
hdp,

It sounds like you have some things in order, you are starting to get things to come around. I highly recommend the counseling at this point. You did the right thing for yourself by leaving your husband. He wasnot treating you right, and you weren't happy. Don't feel guilty for anything at this point, You just made a choice and you did what was right for you. He may have gotten angry, but he had no right to be stalking you or cutting your brake line. You could have been seriously hurt or killed. So forget about him and move on with your man you have now. Take pride in yourself, You are a good person, don[t forget that,

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Jackie_0mg
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2011
Total Posts : 427
   Posted 9/3/2011 4:12 PM (GMT -6)   
question how does your boyfriend fell about all the crying? your not being punished for anything!!!!! you just have to let go of the past let go of old things because they have potential to trigger fellings that will upset you or get workedup. wherever you are STOP. AND START OVER.it's not that hard i understand u feel like you might need to go back for other things in your house and they probally may be extremmly important but thoes are only material things. I feel youneed to start working on things that arent material mayb you feelings goals in life. I had a bad pass i use to cheat on anyone i dated. Found the LOVE OF MY LIFE and cheated on them to i thought how could i ..... I loved them so much were no longer together but i accept that . 3weeks ago i decided to change my life FOR ME and thats the answer i am saving you years of councling all you have to do is WANT the change. and w/ your anti -deepresents youshouldnt randomly stop taking them the reason there persribed is to reduce deppred levels and you may have been deepresed for 2 weeks and been on medicine for 1 or 2 years the reason is so when your off the medicine you dont fall back into the feeling so the medicine is more of a LONG TERM thing. You miswell not take them if you have no health insurance. if you have any questions i'd be more than happy to help ill keep you in my prayers REMBER THE CHANGE STARTS WHEN YOU WANT IT TO !!!!!!!

hdp
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 9/6/2011 5:22 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Jackie, thank you for your concern. My boyfriend couldn't be more supportive of me. He's sad that I feel this way and am having a hard time moving forward but is by my side no matter what. I'm trying to let go of the past but it's hard, I've only know a certain way of life for so long, it's hard to change. I think that is part of my problem, all this happened so quick (the divorce, house fire, etc.) and then to move out of state where I have no friends or family. As far as the material things goes, I know it can be replaced. I'm not a "stuff" person to begin with, that doesn't define who I am. I'm more mad that the soon to be ex took everything away from me and didn't give me a choice to leave anything behind. He tried and is still trying to be as hurtful as he can. At this moment I'm feeling a bit better thinking I may have lost my car, house and the rest of my "stuff" but he lost me.

I'm in contact with counselors and other people who I think will be able to help me move forward.

Karen, thank you so much for the encouraging words! I'm feeling stronger already :-)

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 9/6/2011 6:20 AM (GMT -6)   
with continued healing compassion to you. jamie.
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.
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