As always I appreciate the support. I will be glad when I can offer good advice to others. This has been going on for almost two months. Today and yester day were a little better. 9 more days until my appointment. Someone told me the other day that I'm not depressed. Because I wouldn't be able to change and do daily things. I have always been able to mask things. I told her there are times that I can't get up, I am always tearful, my heart beats hard and fast, sometimes I find myself shaking, I have negative thoughts, I can't focus, headaches, feel very small like I'm cowering down inside myself, feel like I am lost, just barely existing, try to redirect the pain which in turn causes pain, screaming on the inside, wishing, hoping, praying for better days. Sorry for this ramble. That's all I seem to be able to do because my mind races - trying to find an escape but all the exits are blocked.