As bad as I feel...

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pratt
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Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 9/4/2011 9:23 AM (GMT -6)   
I want nothing more than to get better and raise my twins but this is so painful. The intrusive thoughts are horrible and usually involve possible bad things happening to my kids. Sometimes when the panic attacks strike, I feel like I am going to die. I feel so disconnected from life and want so much to be a part of it. I've been on Zoloft for four weeks and still experiencing major panic attacks which I never had before I started Lexapro 2 weeks before the Zoloft and was also on Celexa for three weeks.

I am going to therapy but do not feel like I am improving. I have been getting out every day and even took my kids to Rye Playland the other day and rode on all the rides with them! My kids go back to school on Wednesday and I am terrified of being alone without them. I don't want to be afraid anymore.

I know that none of this is rational but it overcomes me. I was/am a strong person who loves deeply, I don't want to feel sad, hopeless and useless anymore.

Please give me some words of reassurance....I am in real physical pain.

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42439
   Posted 9/4/2011 10:11 AM (GMT -6)   
The zoloft should be kicking in pretty soon. It should help relieve the anxiety. Maybe you should take xanax. I take it with pristiq and abilify. Try to get some rest when your children start school. Know that they will be safe. Remember to breathe through the panic attacks. It will help get you through. And remember it is just a panic attack. Nothing more. Take life one day at a time. Try not to project into the future. Know that you are doing the best that you can and that you are a good mother. Keep remembering that the thoughts aren't real. It is just fear. You can over come this.

Good luck with the meds. The zoloft can take six to eight weeks to reach it's full potential, but I hope it starts working sooner than that for you.

Take care,

Relax

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

It's Genetic
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 9/4/2011 10:22 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello, Purplesky46,

Thank you for opening your heart to us in this way. My first thought
is to say that it takes some time for these antidepressants to take hold and be fully effective, so you need to hold on tightly and look for that to happen in the days ahead.

Secondly, you need to remember that your children are dependent on you, not you on them. Be courageous and give them that freedom to begin to explore life in school and with new friends. After all, they're going to come back to you with all their newness and friends to share their love with you. Your love for them will grow as they live each day a little more independently but still coming back each day with greater love for you because of your willingness to give them that freedom.

There's an expression that may be appropriate here: "when you love something enough to set it free, it always comes back to you." Your fear of being alone without them is an imaginary fear of being alone.
Practice being alone when they're at school and make your home your
center of interest, doing whatever you need to do to keep it in perfect condition for your little ones (and yourself) so that when they come home in the afternoon, they notice how much you've done to prepare for their return. It's the little things you do during the day that will
keep your mind occupied that will calm your fear.

Also, Purplesky46, you need to straighten up your diet so that you
don't have such an acidic condition of the fluids. Stop using caffeine
in any form, please, because it makes depression worse; and if you have an allergy to it, it can be even more severe. See the website   ruthwhalen.comcaffeine to learn more about the problem of caffeine for those who are sensitive to it.

Avoid alcohol; it makes depression worse.

East more fresh salads, (one daily, please) less red meat (don't eliminate it, just cut back to perhaps 4 times per week); eat more fish,
lamb, etc., meats digested more easily. Remove white flour products and sugar (which has no nutritional value). All of these corrections in your diet will help to improve feeling tone.

Finally, ask yourself ratonally what do you really have to fear so intensely in sending your precious little twins to school each day? You're giving them a great gift, actually, and all you have to fear is the fear itself. Try meditating, or reading powerful literature such as scripture or Plato or some short stories that are positive and strong on character traits that are positive. Occupy your mind with thoughts of peace and safe places in your mind.

Keep going to counseling until you feel at ease in your life. You are
being protected by forces that you really do not know about yet; some
of that protection may be in our prayers for your ease of mind. You have mine, certainly.
Take care.

It's Genetic

Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 9/4/2011 10:25:21 AM (GMT-6)


It's Genetic
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 9/4/2011 12:25 PM (GMT -6)   
Yes, they will Purplesky46; they will get far better. There is so much
love in the world (despite the rest of the ongoing stuff in it) that you
just need to get those antidepressants working and begin to see what's there in life that is good.

Whatever it is that is causing you to feel that uncontrollable things are
ruling your life you need to discuss all of that with your psychiatrist as soon as you have the opportunity. That may be what's holding you back from freedom.

Prayers are with you.

It's Genetic

stillme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 556
   Posted 9/4/2011 12:35 PM (GMT -6)   
Hope you feel better soon. Just wanted to let you know that I will pray for your strength. I think when you are generally a strong person this condition gets magnified by our seemingly powerlessness against. Our minds say this is ridiculous let's move on, the condition won't let us,(sigh). It's hard. Then trying to hide it from the children and most other people we come in contact with. No one in my circle really knows the full extent of my issue. Wishing you brighter days ahead.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42439
   Posted 9/4/2011 1:45 PM (GMT -6)   
Things that are beyond our control are just that, beyond our controll. And these are the things we shouldn't worrry with, but they can be the things that bother us the most. It is hard to learn to not let these things effect us, but it can be done. Take each day as it comes. Don't worry about what tomorrow brings today. Just focus on what is going on at that time. That is all you can physically do so keep it mentally too. Think about staying in the moment. Try to stay in the now. Notice what is going on around you at that very moment. The sounds, the sights, the smells. You get in tuned with yourself and relax with that. There is a book called "feeling good". It is written by Dr. David Burns. You can get it on Amazon for about 6.00 used. It is a really good book. I think that it would help you. It teaches you how to think. You can control your thoughts. Keep trying, it doesn't happen over night. But you are going to improve. We are right behind you too.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

It's Genetic
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 9/4/2011 2:55 PM (GMT -6)   
Here we go again, Karen: limited vision, unawareness of multiple
methods of healing, and poor judgment.

I would think of locking this to avoid having to keep an eye on it. 
 
Even my psychiatrist agrees that the activity on this forum is a form of social interaction.  It's nice if we can keep it positive and not lacking in
appreciation for all the members who try to make helpful contributions. 
  
I.G.

Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 9/4/2011 4:01:50 PM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42439
   Posted 9/4/2011 4:31 PM (GMT -6)   
Anxiety is fear. And it is irrational fear. Maybe Purple would want to address this to the anxiety forum. I think that there would be more answers and options there for this matter. Though she is more than welcome here. But I think Purple that you are dealing with anxiety and you would get a lot of help on the anxiety and panic forum. Check it out and see what you think.

You are going to be alright. I highly recommend counseling for you too.

Best wishes for a wonderful day.

Justaboy,

I see that you are new to the forum. I agree that she needs to talk to her doctor and needs professional therapy. But this forum is to support and help people. I don't understand why you are telling her that this isn't the place to seek help. It can't hurt to have support and understanding. And many of us have fears such as she does. We have come together to share our experiences.  Are you here for support?  Do you have depression too?

Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Post Edited (getting by) : 9/4/2011 4:42:30 PM (GMT-6)


stillme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 556
   Posted 9/5/2011 12:39 AM (GMT -6)   
Justaboy- I believe everyone is entitled to their opinion and not everyone is not going to agree all the time. Due to what I think is a fragile state of mind, sometimes it feels like differnces are an attack. When I am feeling low, which is almost all the time these days, when anything doesn't go right it seems to be that everything is against me. My rational mind knows this but because of this cruel thing going on inside, I can't act accordingly and can even feel that an inanimate object has it out for me:) I know better but am powerless against it. I also believe in seeing a doctor, Unfortunately sometimes the wait is long. I have had to wait for a month. Still waiting hoping I can make it until then.

I was wondering if you were referring to my comment about prayer - if so, my intent was to offer my support and prayers - especially for strength because this is tough. Didn't suggest that purplesky should pray and the situation would go away.

Keep posting facts. What you posted about the medication was helpful. I don't have any now, but know I need it. I will keep the dosage thing in mind when I see the doctor

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42439
   Posted 9/5/2011 9:03 AM (GMT -6)   
Justaboy,

This is what you said: It's what an individual feels that is real, not what someone else tells you is real. Deal with it with your doctor, not people from a forum as they don't feel what you do.


So you are telling her not to deal with it with people on a forum. That is what I was talking about.

We have rece4ntly had two members who come on the forum, they never introduced themselves, like you, and both of them were into attacking other members. I hope that isn't what you intend to do. YOu have already started with IG. That isn't tolerated here. We agree to disagree. So I would suggest you back off and think about it. We all have different ways of dealing with depression and anxiety,.

I myself think Purple would get more help on anxiety forum. With this problem.

I suggest counseling in any form you can start with. We get a lot of teens on here, we suggest school counsleors to start. What ever they can do. I am not a road scholar, but I have been to social workers, psychologists and find them both to be helpful. Everybody has to start somewhere. I also see a psychiatrist. But he prescribes my meds, doesn't counsel.

So before you get nit picky over what others post. Think about it. We have our own ways of coping. And we share that. I am not into strict diet. I eat bread and I drink coffee. But getting the caffiene and alcohol out of a person's system can help. Special diets can help as some people are allergic to things that causes them not to think right. I have read about it. So if IG wants to suggedst diet, it is fine by me.

Why don't you do an introductory post and let us know something about you. Discussing suicide is against the rules. So please don't go there. And I don't make the rules, I jusdt have to enforce them. People would like to get to know you instead of having you come in and attack the other poster's comments. Try to get along. We are here for support and that is it. I am no better or smarter than the next person, I take time out of my day to do this. I don't get paid, it is all volunteer. And I am doing the best that I can. I am not perfect. So please don't critisize me or question what I say. I make mistakes like the next guy. But I try as hard as I can here.

I am locking this thread. And I would like us to start over on a new page. We have a rule about flaming other members. It isn't tolerated. just an fyi. If you came here to do that, then you are in the worng place. Other forums might tolerate it, but we don't.

I don't want to have any bad feelings between us.

I see you have read back on old posts and you see a problem that occured awhile back. I hope that you aren't going to continue to where the old member left off. It wont be tolerated. That member is now gone. And you sound a lot like them. I hope you are not.

As I said, nobody knows you here as you didn't start an introductory thread. We don't know what kind of issues you face. If you want to keep that private, that is your choice. But try to get along with other members. Nobody is perfect on here. We all need support. We are all nunique in our own ways. We all deserve support and respect.

Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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