everybody has motives

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Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 29
   Posted 9/6/2011 4:47 PM (GMT -6)   
    Im very angry at the person that i thought was my freinds all these years but it just turns out that he just want me for one thing. i feel that he wasnt a good friend and that makes me really upset that people just want to use you for selfish reasons and on top of that do it for so long. i have already made it clear that im happy being single and that im abstidence until marriage. i dont need anyone making me out to be a naive little kid and that i am not in touch with reality, because i dont agree with freinds with benifits. that doesnt make me the naive one but the smart one. im turning only 20 tomorrow which means i have enough time for sex and relationships. it really makes me angry that people even want to judge me, because im really happy being by myself, but thats because im not by myself i have my family with through thick and thin. i dont judge anybody because at the end of the day before nationality and gender we are all human. so i dont need people making me feel bad because that special part of me should be with my husband, and not just a random man that has wasted time in trying to get to know the real me. this entire freindship has been lies and only motives. it goes to show that there is no way a female and a male can be friends you know geuine friends with each other. i feel a little foolish while all this time while he is telling me that i should hook up with people and that i should think about friends with benifits he really meant with him im just so disgusted with this entire situation. i may be a lot of things but im not promiscuios if i even spelled that correctly i really wanted to say another word.

always hoping
New Member

Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 9/6/2011 5:20 PM (GMT -6)   
yeah  I think you have a lot on your mind, but you are very clear at the same time. Only you will know who the right person and the right time will be.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 9/6/2011 7:35 PM (GMT -6)   
This is not really about physical relationships, but rather about someone refusing to respect you as a person. This really has little to do with the person being male and there are plenty of females out there that are the same way, and what is really sad is these people will never know true friendship and what the real benefits are of having and being a real friend. To be quite blunt these people are small, selfish, and quite self absorbed and have a lot of growing up to do.

There are a lot of guys out there who, even though they might be physically attracted to you, will respect your beliefs and not try to push you in any way into doing something you do not want to do.

From the time I was 2 until now the majority of my closest friends have been girls, and while a few have been "friends with benefits" through 200% mutual consent the vast majority were just friends. At no time did I try to push them into doing anything they didn't want to do and at no time did they ever try to push me. We respected each other as people first, last, and always. And yes several in the group I hung out with in my teens and early 20' s did choose to wait until marriage and we all supported them 100% and in return they did not judge those of us who chose a different path.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 29
   Posted 9/6/2011 7:49 PM (GMT -6)   
thank you guys on your veiws on my situation i really appreciate it.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 9/6/2011 8:22 PM (GMT -6)   
I really respect your views. It means you care about yourself and your integrity. I am happy for that. Stick with your principals. I am sure that there are more people who feel like you do than you think. It took courage to say what you did and we are proud of you.

Hang in there.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 29
   Posted 9/6/2011 10:41 PM (GMT -6)   
thanks karen
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