Posted 9/11/2011 10:29 PM (GMT -7)
Hi everyone, it's been a while since I've posted. Feeling somewhat lonely tonight, haven't been in contact with anyone today but it's been a nice day. Watched all of the happenings with the dedications and memorials in light of the 9/11 events. I had just written my cousin on yesterday because I remembered exactly where I was on the day that everything happened. I will never ever forget that day, and watching all of the news and documentaries today re-ignited those feelings of outrage and deep sympathy for my fellow americans.
Good news, my spouse and I have been talking...she also offered to take me out for my birthday last month, I was pleasantly surprised and she paid for my dinner and bought me a gift. Nice huh? We've been talking off and on over the past few weeks more than we have before, and I believe she's changing some. I'm not quite ready to move back with her, but I do want the companionship. I still have so many questions. Anyway I need to seek more counseling for myself and figure out what to do further. I know she's got to be tired of waiting on me, I guess. My thoughts run deep. Now I've not heard anything from my son since early July, not sure what to do there either. I feel like such a loser with all of this, I'm just not sure what to do anymore.
Some of you will be surprised at my next comments, but since I've been living apart from my spouse and we've not been close until a couple of months many of you remember that I shared how a woman who was employed at the place I staying was attracted to me, and of course that's over. I've not heard from her again. But there's a girl that moved in across from me that I've noticed going back and forth. She's a really nice girl, and I think very attractive, so...the other night for the first time I asked her out for ice cream. Much to my surprise, she said yes. we had a nice conversation and shared a few things about ourselves with each other. She is so beautiful, and just so you'll know, I have not made any other moves, I just wanted to get to know her a little better. But regardless I couldn't do anything anyway and based on my background and beliefs it would be hard to jump into any relationship. I just wanted to share, it's the same 'ol boring me here. Hope all of the friends that I've communicated with through HW are doing well. I miss so many of you who've touched me with your comments and I especially mis "worried girl," we used to talk very frequently, I wish she was available to talk again, but I know she's moved on to bigger and better friends. I just wanted a place to open up and share my thoughts, and this is the place I come to when I feel the lowest.
My birthday was nice, but now I really feel OLD. And you know with m spouse keeping in touch with me, maybe she wants to not grow old alone either. Anyway, I hope to hear from someone out there. Any advice, comforting words? I'm open to hear from whomever reads this tonight.